Resonant

Chapter 13

Zale

Astrea insisted that Fen and I should wait in line and bring our food while she saved us a table. The place was pretty crowded, mostly with people sitting while they waited for their food or taking up a huge table while they sat alone drinking from a small coffee cup, so I agreed. Besides, this way I got a minute alone with Fen.

"Sorry for not giving you any notice," I said. And I meant it. I sprang that dinner with my mother on him and then ambushed him with this. At least Fen appeared to know better than to get anxious about eating with Astrea.

That was another thing. Fen didn't know about her, and I wasn't sure I was allowed to tell him. I had sworn to keep her secret, after all. I hoped Astrea would loop him in soon, so I wouldn't have to call her the wrong name and use the wrong pronouns around him. It would be exhausting and would feel a bit too much like lying. The idea didn't sit right with me.

"It's okay," Fen said, and I could see that he meant it. "I'm glad to be included."

God, he was easy to please. I appreciated how easy it was to make Fen happy, but it also meant that it was too easy to take advantage of him. How many people had done it over the years?

We reached the front of the line and put in our orders. Fen tried to pay again, which was sweet but not happening. Maybe I'd let him pick up the tab next time, just to feel like he was contributing, but I still had too much to make up for and too much to explain to him. This was a small and easy way to start paying him back.

We moved down the counter to wait for our breakfast, and I realized while I leaned against it and Fen stood upright that he was probably better-mannered than I was in some regards. That would be a relief for my mother, who was eternally exasperated with me and who didn't really need another person to nag at.

"So, does Adras go to Ashen Oak because you teach there? Or do you teach there because that's where Adras goes?" Fen asked.

"I guess you could say he's there because I teach there, but he decided he wanted to go to school topside before he ever even knew I existed," I said. Fen looked confused, so I explained, "We didn't actually know about each other until earlier this year. My father isn't a part of my life."

"Oh. That must have been a hard adjustment," he said.

But I shook my head, because it really wasn't. "I thought it might be, but I think Adras has been good for me. Once he learned we were related, he sort of just... accepted me. And I like spending time with him. I always wanted siblings."

Of course, I'd mostly wanted them for practical reasons. Someone else for my mother to chase after and someone else to bear the burden of the throne. Even though Adras couldn't fill either of those roles, I was still grateful to have him in my life.

"That's sweet," Fen said, sounding wistful. He caught my questioning gaze and said, "I never had siblings, either. Though that's probably a good thing. I think my parents realized they weren't cut out for child rearing with me."

It was another glimpse into parts of Fen's life I didn't know yet, and I wanted to ask more, but our food arrived. Fen and I each took a tray and carried them back to the window table Astrea had managed to nab. She was lounging across two chairs on one side of the table, and she raised a challenging eyebrow at me when I looked at her. I didn't really understand why until Fen and I sat down on the other side and she immediately sat up with a satisfied grin.

She'd been making sure he and I sat together.

Astrea passed out the food and had taken an enormous bite out of her breakfast sandwich before Fen or I had even finished settling in. She almost choked and had to pat her chest hard several times when Fen innocently asked, "How are you this morning, Adras?"