Poles Apart

Past Blunders

A distant scream, a loud moan, a gunshot, and blood.
     She ran. She ran away from the blood but stared around with growing horror. All the walls were covered with blood. Her hands reached her mouth and she noticed blood there too. Bewildered, she forced them away. The blood dripped slowly down her fingers to her elbows, not even a single drop going towards the ground. Miniatures of her mother raised from each drop in her hands in thousands all saying something.  Screaming something.
     What? She thought but the answer came anyway.
     'Murder! Murder!' they shouted in unison. I tried to flick the blood off my hands but it only seemed to grow. 'Murderer! You kill! MURDERER!'
     NO!

Sana found herself awake again the second time this week with a clean sheen of sweat covering her body. I brushed the hair out of my face and took quicker but light breaths with my eyes closed regaining the last bits of my sanity. A dream. A peculiar and repetitive dream but all the same just a dream. The exercise worked, and my heartbeat slowed to a normal pace. I pressed my face into the pillow and groaned. The worst part of the dream? The miniatures of my mother accusing me. It's nuts. Totally.
     Is it?
     Not really coz I think my mother assumes I killed Nathan. Her suspicious glances on my side, jumpiness around me, and the clean closet. Of course the clean closet. She must've seen his bracelet, my bloody jersey, and of course the damned gun. Leave my mom, if I'd seen them in someone's bedroom I too would assume that they have murdered someone. And the evidence is too thin, other than mine and Selena's statements, which can be lies. I sighed and pressed my forehead wishing my headache wouldn't come today.
     My eyes roamed around the room and rested on my diary. I just want to tell her everything. But she wouldn't listen, she's too deep in her assumption. I crawled towards the edge of the bed and outstretched my hand, straining to reach the diary without getting out of the warmth of the bed. The fine edges of it teased my fingers but didn't come into my hand. Groaning I got out, the linoleum floor cool under my warm feet, sending shivers up my spine.
     I trudged towards it and plopped down at the table. If I write I'll know how to tackle this thing and then recount the events to her perfectly. Maybe the nightmares would stop too. I opened the diary and began to write.
     After ten minutes of continuous watching the wall aimlessly, only the date written on the plain paper I picked up the pen again. Here we go...
     

The night party. All were happy that our school won two championships in a day and hence we students decided to party our way in the night. The venue was fixed, the camp was set up and illegal booze flowed freely. I and Selena were content with our lemon and soda, some of the boys were determined to get themselves drunk blind. Girls were giving them tough competition in that matter.
     I watched as a group of guys, along with Rose from our group were giggling and laughing at their meaningless babble that only they seemed to understand. I nudged Selena and nodded towards Nathan Samuels, a lean yet muscular boy of the same grade as us but in a different section who came in, socializing with some girls. Selena like others had a huge crush on him.
     'Shut up.' She hissed, staring at him with satisfaction. 'He was beautiful in his jersey.' I fake gagged earning a slap on the arm. 'He was!' She argued and I nodded. 'Good. I'll just come.'
     She got up from the wood we were sitting on and made her way towards him, gulping down some champagne on the way. Liquid luck. I put my empty glass down and saw her poking his shoulder.
     'Congratulations!' My mind Selena spoke.
     'Of course.' He would say grinning so broad that I could count all his teeth. 'You know that's what I do, win over.' Nathan's voice in my head was cartoonish and I giggled like a drunk. At the same time, Selena's laughter reached my eyes and I smiled.
     The night passed at a lazy pace, she stuck at his arm and occasionally made sure I was still alive. I glanced around interested and made up some mock conversations in my head for some time and then went to count stars. Parties are boring. They are, and unorganized and littering parties by kids like this one were the worst. No one knows what to do next. As if reading my mind Jonathan clapped gaining the attention of all, well, most of all.
     'LET'S TAKE A PICTURE!' He roared above ongoing murmurs and everyone cheered.  Not everyone, Thomas was watching, like he always is.  In the past, he was just his easy-going self with me like he is with everyone until I told him I wasn't interested in him one fine valentine's day.  Well, I mean he's cute, but the way he stares at me is creepy.  Even now, his drunken eyes stared at me.
     People began running around into positions.  The next second Selena was at my side, tugging my arm towards the group of underage drunks forming a line for photographs. Confusion floated above their heads and I sighed irritably.
     'Can't I just skip?'
     'Nope.' She answered and thrust me on another side of Nathan who beamed at me.
     'Captain. Howdy?' His voice was the exact opposite of the one in my head. It was breaking showing the hints of the voice he'd have as an adult and I smiled.
     'Little too sober for a party, what about you?'
     'Little too sober to be drunk.' He and Selena giggled like it was the best joke of the year and not willing to hurt her I chuckled enough loudly to be heard by them.
     'Gather round, gather- not there you idiot!'  He shouted at Tom.  'Here!'  He piled him in the row before me, the back of Thomas's head rubbing against my jersey.  Jonathan's yells sobered some of the drunks and finally after ten minutes of hustle-bustle we all huddled for a photo. The cups were given to the hands of captains, me and Nathan, and his arm was one around my and Selena's shoulder each. I smiled at him and the photo was clicked.
     The crowd skirted away faster than it formed and I ducked from under his hand.
     'Nice bracelet.' I remarked watching it keenly.
     'You can keep it. Winning gift.' Not hearing my feeble protests he thrust it around my wrist and I smiled looking at it. It was cold against my skin and comfortably heavy.
     'Thank you so much.' I whispered.
     'Not a problem.' He grinned.
     'Shift of party.' J cried. 'We're gonna hit Kyle's house!' They roared making my ears ring and everyone as if put in a fast motion picture cleared out towards his house. I and Selena caught each other's eye and in that split-second decision stayed back together.