a hollow perception (Fate/Zero × Demon Slayer)

first: discordant harmony

trigger warning: there's a small scene of implied self-harm. read in discretion.

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first: discordant harmony

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Upon his position as apprentice, Kirei was subjected to the teachings of magecraft. His master's flow of lesson were comprehensible and understanding; the way of his master's teaching was never overwhelming nor inadequate. It was balanced in-between as if it was placed in convenience for him. He doesn't know if this way of teaching from his master was deliberate nor it was the pace Tohsaka Tokiomi considered for himself.

As for Kirei, he plunged himself into this world of magecraft without rest. He supposed that perhaps he was driven by his own curiosity. Curious of this world that the Church had despised for a long time, curious that the amount of knowledge he received from this world might gratify him at some point.

And for other side of world, Kirei frequently met the wife and daughter of his master. 'Met' might be a strong word, but Rin seemed to be determined to ignore his presence — if she can — and her mother would simply greet him in a simple 'good morning' or 'good afternoon' to him which he would greet her in return.

That's right; 'met' was the strong word for the mother and daughter. The only person Kirei had regularly met in this household — other than his master — was the curious Tsuyuri Kanao.

Their encounters was sometimes bridled with silence, and then the day would end without words of exchange between them. At times, they wouldn't meet at all since they were both busy of their respective responsibility. But if they did, the conversation between them were typically aimless and random. Tsuyuri's used notepads were the evident of their encounters.

But somehow, Kirei noticed something. It was unnecessary to notice such a thing but he still did. Kirei noticed that, during most of their conversations, Tsuyuri would never raise her eyes to him as if consciously looking away from an uncomfortable thing. He'd thought her apprehension was already casted away during their introduction (and their first proper conversation) to each other. However, it doesn't seem to be a case. But that's fine, thought Kirei. Tsuyuri Kanao being uneasy was good for him. It gave him a slightest bit of satisfaction when she was such in a state. If she wanted to stay like that then he'll draw out as much as possible from her apprehensive state.

Despite still, Kirei was curious. What was the reason of her uneasiness that seemed to come from him? (Or did it come from him?) Why was she determined to avert her eyes away from him as if she saw something (or realized something)? None of these questions will be answered if he would hide these from her.

"What did you see in me if you keep looking away from me?" Kirei had managed to ask her in-between of their casual conversation. However, the suddenness of that question was on purpose. Tsuyuri raised her lilac eyes on his dark ones with startled blinking. Her reaction was within his expectation. He asked again, "Did you see something that made you somehow you realize something?" The repeated 'something' in his words was odd to say verbally, but he ignored it and waited her response.

Where did that question came from? she replied instead.

"So you chose to avoid it?" he asked.

She shook her head. No, she wrote, I'm sorry if I made uncomfortable. I just see something that I can't put into words.

Kirei didn't reply. Instead, she wrote again, paused, and then wrote once more before she showed the words to him.

Kotomine-san, do you
can I ask you question? Her scrawling her words told him with hastily crossed words above it. Kirei saw the incomplete question under the sprawling lines and wondered what made her change the question.