Luciano Fierri [Book #3]

Chapter 32

Two weeks later (Epilogue pt. 1)
I fiddled with the ring on my finger, unable to look up from where I stood. The casket was open, Luciano's corspe on display for all of his friends and family to see.

I felt sick to my stomach. I haven't been feeling well, the heartbreak of Luciano's death feeling all too real now that the funeral was taking place. I swayed into Cesare, feeling faint.

"I think I'm going to be sick," I murmured, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"Can you hold on a little longer or...?" I shook my head, my cheeks puffing up as the bile in my throat clawed its way to the surface. "Alright, I got you."

He shared a glance and nod with Marcellius, before snaking his arm around me and leading me away from the crowd. Once we were out of view, I leaned forward and released all of last night's pasta into a nearby trash can.

Cesare handed me a piece of gum, staring down at me with worry. "You sure you don't want me to take you to a doctor, Val? You haven't been able to keep anything down for weeks, and you feel a little warm."

"Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine."

"Valeria," Cesare warned calmly.

"I said I'm fine," I snapped, walking back over to the crowd of people dressed in black, many in tears.

I popped the piece of gum he gave me into my mouth, my eyes drifting over to Mama Fierri, who had approached Luciano's casket with a bouquet of yellow daffodils in her hand.

Those were always his favorite.

She set them down onto the polished black casket, mouthing a prayer to herself as she cried. "Il mio bambino(My baby boy)," I heard her say before returning to Niccolo's side.

Everyone was having a hard time accepting that Luciano was gone, as was I. Even after Marcellius, Niccolo, and Cesare spent weeks down in the basement torturing Pescatore until he was dead, the pain and anger at the loss of their brother remained. And it remained strong and unwavering.

After watching Marcellius, Niccolo, and Cesare say their goodbyes to their brother, I decided it was time I gained some much needed closure.

I walked up to the casket, my eyes finally zeroing in on Luciano. He looked so peaceful and so beautiful. I found myself leaning in to kiss his lips one last time, despite the lack of life, color, and warmth in them.

They were still just as soft, the feeling of his lips against mine making my heart skip a beat. Straightening back up, I released a soft sigh and pulled out a picture of him and I when we were children, along with the ring pop wrapper.

You would have been such an amazing husband.

I set them down on the casket next to the flowers and returned to my spot near Cesare. "I'm sorry for speaking to you the way I did. It's just that I..." I couldn't finish my sentence, tears causing my vision to become blurry.

"I know," Cesare cut in. "I miss him too." He pulled me into him and I sobbed into his chest. "We'll get through this, Val. I promise."

****

I sat on the rug in the middle of the bedroom, rummaging through a box of memories he left from when we were younger. I chuckled when I saw the ring pop wrapper.

Of course he kept it.

I looked through a couple pictures of us together. He had his glasses, and I had my pigtails and braces. We were such nerds in school.

I looked up from the box of items when I heard the timer go off in the bathroom. I looked over at Autumn, Mia, and Cesare who were sitting on the bed with anticipation.

They insisted that I take a pregnancy test. And even after I finally told them what happened to me, they still insisted I take one. So I did.

Standing up, I grabbed the test off the sink counter in the bathroom, and returned to the bedroom with the test in hand.

For some reason I was nervous. I made a vow to myself all those years ago that I wouldn't have children even if it were possible, and yet, the thought of me being pregnant with Luciano's baby made me smile.

I opened my closed fist, looking down at the test to read what it says. I was shocked at the results, my heart feeling like it would burst at any minute.

"Well? What does it say?" Autumn asks impatiently.

"Pregnant," I tell them. "It says I'm pregnant."

They tackled me with hugs, crying happy tears. They stopped when they noticed I wasn't leaping for joy.

"What's wrong?" Mia asks, looking at me. "You're going to be a mom."

"No, I know. But what about Luciano?"

It wasn't even about me necessarily keeping the vow I made years ago, but more about giving birth to a child that would never know their father.

Luciano has always wanted to be a father. But he's not here anymore, which means I would be raising this child alone. And I'm going to have to explain to him or her one day what happened to their father and why he's not in their life.

"It's my fault he's dead."

"No, it's not." Cesare stepped in front of me, cupping my face in his hands. I stared into his blue eyes, wanting to cry. "I don't want to hear you say that bullshit ever again. You gave my brother what he always wanted, which was you. You were enough for him."

"But I'm scared, C. I'm scared that this child won't know enough about the man who would have loved and cherished them more than anything in the world." I started to panic, my breathing becoming shallow and uneven. I mean what if-"

"Basta(Enough)!" I calmed down, taking a deep breath. "I will make sure my niece or nephew knows about my brother. You don't have to worry about that."

"We all will," Autumn added.

"Mhm," Mia said, nodding in agreement. "You're a Fierri now, marriage or not. And if there's one thing I learned, is that family comes first no matter what."

I felt better knowing that they would be here to help me not only through this pregnancy, but to help me overcome the heavy grief and guilt I feel over Luciano's death.

If I could bring him back I would. But I also know that everything happens for a reason. I don't know what the future holds for me and my unborn child, but I do pray that the memories I shared with Luciano are never forgotten. And that one day, my child will know what an amazing man Luciano Fierri was.