Bhekokwakhe

chapter 20

A MONTH LATER

A glimpse of Nobuntu’s glamorous month. A spotlight of being treated like a Queen, handled like an egg. She got showered with all the care she needed from Kagiso. While his wife got a cold shoulder. While she got the warmth.

Designer shoes, designer bags, designer clothes, expensive dinner date, expensive vacations the list could take years to untangle. Kagiso has poured his whole heart into this affair between him and her. He has moved miles he wouldn’t dare to move for Kenosi.

Honey!

We are talking about the taste of living. Not existing nor surviving because Nobuntu is experiencing finer things in life because of Kagiso’s fat bank account; for the first time she got her claws on it without undivided attention.

For the first time she felt loved and for the first time he felt the need to love without holding back.

-

Fourways Hospital – it does have a story to tell. Nobuntu is sitting comfortably in the gynaecologist’s office. “Congratulations, Miss Shabangu, you are four weeks pregnant” The gynae announces. Awakening Nobuntu’s hunger. Finally this is a dream coming true. She knows how desperate Kagiso is to have children of his own and she is about to make that a rainbow of reality.

But she can’t have kids, this is highly impossible. “Are you sure?” She asks, anxiously. Making sure that she isn’t hallucinating. “100% sure, we can do the sonogram, for confirmation” She says, fixing her glasses.

“That can’t be, I was told I would never have kids ever again in my life. My chances were 1,5 percent” she confesses.

“Well 1,5 percent still very much apply as a chance. So we can do a sonogram”

“Please, I want to be hundred percent certain when I drop the bomb shell at my man. Does even a four weeks pregnancy period appear?” Just the thought of this pregnancy gets her animated. Eye roll, Nobuntu we all know that he isn’t yours. It’s only a matter of time till he leaves you high and dry or not. Since you know how to play the game.

“Yes, The gestational sac is typically visible on a transvaginal ultrasound somewhere between 3 to 5 weeks of pregnancy. However we won’t be able to detect any heart beat. You will have to come back in the sixth week or so” She says, standing up.

“This way,” she points. Nobuntu stands up and dust herself, as if she has caught dirt. They both drag their legs to the small bed. She lies down. “It will be cold ‘’ she warns, applying the cold gel on her flat stomach. Soon to expand with Kagiso’s child. How lucky is this guy?

“There,” She points at the dot on the screen. “That is your baby. Around 14 weeks and above if you are curious about the gender do stop by” That instruction shocks her.

“That early? Shouldn’t I wait for more weeks” Nobuntu muses.

“Most doctors schedule an ultrasound at around 18 to 21 weeks, but the sex may be determined by ultrasound as early as 14 weeks . However It is not always hundred percent accurate, though. Your baby might be in an awkward position, which makes it difficult to clearly see the genitals. So I will expect you to come back again in 2 weeks time for the heart beat, then I would give you a monthly schedule for your check-ups” She orders Nobuntu who is buckling her jeans.

After they were done they returned to their chairs. She even has a copy of that beautiful moment. She can’t wait to show Kagiso. As soon as she bids farewell to the doctor. She doesn’t waste time, she calls Kagiso with immediate effect. To spill the beans of good news.

-

KENOSI

It has been raining cats and dogs for Kenosi, still very much in an abusive marriage. Still very much in a dark cloud, she doesn’t even know that she was pregnant with twins. She doesn’t even know what happened to her child but the scar remained. To mark her emergency C-section operation.

She tried to ask Kagiso about the child but she got ‘I took care of everything’. That was his way of dismissing everything. Because since then Kagiso’s face is trimmed with anger; it is even hard for Kenosi to talk to Kagiso. He is barely even home. But when he is around, home feels like a prison.

Remarks he makes, leaves Kenosi’s in the cold like she is dipped in a polar bear island. The coldness is like she has been placed in a refrigerator.

“I still can’t believe that you failed to be a mother again” he spewed, no remorse whatsoever.

Kenosi held her breath, when she thought she was about to recover. “Just a few punches here and there and your womb for nothing miscarries” Does he even care about the damages? ‘Lefoko ga le bowe, go bowa monwana’ (A word doesn’t come back, a finger does come back) – Therefore once it’s said, there is no turning back. If it was meant to shoot, rest assured it penetrates. It if was meant to kill, worry not, it would deliver.

“You are weak to be a mother. Thank God, saw that. If you couldn’t protect your kids in your uterus there was no way you could have protected them in the real world. If attack strikes” He didn’t just break her like that. Can he stop? She can’t take it anymore.

-

“Kenosi, we need to talk” Kagiso’s voice drifts Kenosi from his venomous words. That lacked love nor sympathy and he won’t take the blame that he has a hand, either.

“Ohh,” that is all she could squeal. We already know what ‘we need to talk’ contains. He sits far from her. “I need you to take all your stuff from the master bedroom, you can choose any room you want” He spills.

The formation of wrinkles plummets on her face. “What?”

“I don’t stutter now, do I?” He coaxes. She shakes her head ‘No’ she doesn’t care about sharing a room with Kagiso. But if she is going to be kicked out of her own bedroom at least she deserves a logical explanation.

“I want you out of my bedroom. Lekgarebe lame le mo mmeleng. I will be delighted, if you move out of the bedroom since she is moving in. I want to be there for her every step of the way” (My girlfriend is pregnant) – he twitched those words.

How unfair life can be? She just lost her child a few weeks ago and he gets a chance to be a father? What about her? “Over my dead body” she wails loudly.

A slap shallow her wails. She stops to haul defeated to look at him. “Lefoko lame ke la moraga. Ke nna tlhogo ya lapa, you will do what I say, understand?” (My word is final, I’m the head of this house) – He asks, with ‘I dare you to fight me’ tone, raising his palm to fire another one. “Yes,” she nods vigorously.

He walks out. However he turns, “I could have long divorced you Kenosi. But hey, we already know that this is not a marriage but a contract. I was willing to change for you, but you cannot make a wife out of a wh*re” he shrugs lunging out. Maybe he didn’t mean it.

Kenosi stands there holding her cheek in disbelief. What kind of a life is this? God knows she wants out of this marriage. But where does she begin? Her father would haunt her down and go nkga go sa bola. (Hell will break loose) – That is how much this contract – it can’t be a marriage – means to him.

What is hard is that Kenosi now hates her own body. She views her body as a template of failure; that fails to carry Children. She abhors herself, blames herself for failing a simple task, carrying children till 9 months later.