Milieu Euphony (In Act Series #2)

Phase 33

PHASE THIRTY-THREE

REVOKING PERMISSIONS

I had no intentions of going home, but I was forced to.

No, there were no demands nor orders for me to go home. Rather, I forced myself because it was for the best—for the betterment of my paths and my willingness to go on.

My decision to tell my family what I really felt was more of contemplation—a well-thought of decision. I was uninvolved with them, to begin with, so there was no reason to tell them what I really felt. They won't listen to it, anyway. And they'd continue seeing me as someone who they could control out of the "guides" that they imposed.

But I wanted to start anew, so it was better to put my past to an end.

Even if they would disregard your pleas?

No, I won't let them disregard my pleas. Because this time, instead of being the all-agreeing puppet that this Costiñiano family had, I would be the first one to break away from their rules—the ideas that caged me.

The clinging of utensils was in my ears—a nice distraction from the anxiety that was building at the pit of my heart.

How I treated it was new to my path.

Kalimitan ay mas gusto ko ng katahimikan—ang marindi sa mga bagay patungkol sa pananatili, pero ngayon ay pabor na ako sa kaingayan. Mas mabuti sa pandinig at mas nakatutulong sa paglalakbay.

Mga senyales na alam ko ang tinatahak ko—na gusto ko 'to at masaya ako rito.

"What do you plan to study next? Apat na taon ka na rin d'yan," it was my mother who asked. Her tone was laced with bitterness and disgust which was reasonable because she was referring to the discipline that I was pursuing.

Ayaw niya sa pag-iiskultura—bakit? Dala ng takot niya na baka matulad ako sa nangyari kay Ophelia? O dahil ayaw niyang mabahiran ang kamay ko ng putik?

I didn't have to think about my answer because it was there—it laid on my path. It was clear to me that I would pursue what I really wanted, and I won't let anyone drag me away from it.

"Sculpting," saad ko habang pinaglalaruan ang pagkain. May kalayaang nararamdaman sa dibdib dala ng sinabi, nabusog na roon kaya wala nang ganang kumain.

There was silence because of what I said.

At noong oras na 'yon, natuwa ako sa katahimikang dinala ko.

Ako ang nagdala no'n dahil hindi sila natuwa mula sa narinig.

Pero tapos na akong magsunud-sunuran sa mga daang inilatag nila para sa 'kin. Tinatahak ko na ang sariling gawa kaya babalewalain ko na ang ipinipilit nila.

My mother looked at me, her eyes sharp.

My father, who was as passive as I, continued to eat as if it didn't bother him.

And I knew it didn't. Because he was more of a puppet under their family while my mother acted as if she was the true-blooded Constiñiano.

"'Yan na ang ginagawa mo," she stated in a matter-of-factly. "But what are you going to study next after you graduated? You have now mastered that, Lael. Umalis ka na r'yan. Masyado ka nang matagal."

Masyado na akong matagal.

That sounded nice.

Ang malakas na tibok ng puso ay unti-unting bumabagal dahil sa mga salitang pinagtatagpi-tagpi ng utak. Paunti-unting hinihintay ang tamang oras bago magsalita.