think i'm ceasing bit by bit
vanishing into the thin air
losing my will
hard to breathe
suffocating
as im dragging myself
looking into the dead scenery
in search of even a breeze.
emotions bottling up
that chest is getting heavy
with every passing day
all the weight of my own
thoughts and frustration
my own existence.
those eyes have dried, long enough
they have leaked already, crazily
that I don't find the power
to initiate a flood from there anymore
the fluid comes to it's border
but is unable to go through.
those eyelids have become heavy
so heavy that I don't have other way
except to let their shutters close, forever.
that pumping balloon inside the ribcage
is slowing down it's speed
wanting to burst out, derangely.
the scars on my left hand
I hate them yet the adoration is there
as something is getting me
but as the sticks on the wall tick
those scars are becoming meaningless
so much fresh yet very meaningless
im afraid that it will lose their purpose
and the same thing is happening
it doesn't ease me anymore
don't pleasure me anymore
just the red dripping through them
staining the white of my life
and then later to only lifeless, brown strokes.
I should stop
but maybe I don't know how to
they are still there
with the hope that
they will regain it's purpose because
I'm becoming more and more lost
more and more empty, hollow
with every passing second
unable to feel that chaos
which i once used to live for
but im vanishing bit by bit
into the thin air
I'm losing
I'm losing
and
I'm losing..
