Northern Lights

Chapter 1: A Stumble In The Right Direction

"I never thought I'd be able to stand in front of you and pour my heart out to you, but here I am." I said not knowing if he would see me as a fool or see how much my heart burned for him. "I remember the blurred night my eyes first landed upon you. I have the memory perfectly engraved into my mind. I remember you were in a white t-shirt with your hair pulled into a man bun with small black curly fly aways  that framed your face so effortlessly." His eyes poured into mine, yet no emotion came from them. His lack of emotion was a little unsettling due to my heart feeling like it was going to rupture in my chest. A sharp sensation took over me, to which I first believed to be in my head, until I saw my nails bedded into my arms. As I looked down I saw my arm began to bleed from the pressure of my tense grip. The tense grip was what I needed to focus on to get through this conversation."I'm confused Miley, why are you here?", those words softly came out of his mouth. His eyes began to soften, but still no emotion was found within them. I took a deep breath in and tried to fight back the tears, but a few escaped. "I'm here so I don't live with the regret of never telling you the words of my heart. If I were to be honest with you and myself, I would admit how much of a fool I was for believing I was in control of loving you. I thought I could be close to you, without the consequence of falling in love.I suppose that's like throwing gasoline all over the walls of a home, while flicking a lighter hoping it doesn't gulf into flames. It's foolish." Tears began to rush down my eyes as those words slipped from my lips. His eyes lock to mine with confusion, but I finish by saying "The gasoline was the all nighters, the laughs, and stolen touches. I allowed them into my life so foolishly. The lighter was my love that bloomed for you, and when the lighter finally made contact I was engulfed. I couldn't put out the flames, it was too late once I realized what had happened. I can always learn to rebuild my life, but I can't change the marks that have been burned into the old one. You've burned your mark into my heart and now I am standing here insanely in love with you!" His hardened face quickly softened at my confession. When I looked into his eyes, I could feel the confusion coming from them. For a moment I was shocked at his puzzled expressions, but then I realized he never knew I was in love with him. The silence is deafening between us. As Rome looks away I notice his lips begin to part. I can see the hesitation form in his eyes and I know these words will either feel my lungs with life or collapse them. 

Slow down, what good is a love story if you aren't given the beginning or the details in the middle? You can't just have the end of the story, there's no connection in that. Besides, it would not be fair of me to give you the end until you first felt the birth pains of the beginning. We will now transport you to the section of where everything began. Enjoy!

I can feel the vibrations of the music dance upon my skin. I'm surrounded by careless souls who are frozen in the moment dancing around me. Their bodies move with the beat of the music as if they are in sync with it. They look free from the burdens of tomorrow and like tonight is all that matters. Tonight I want to feel as free as those who surround me, so I begin to down my drink of utopia. Everything in this moment feels perfect. My heart dances intimately with the beat of the music and I feel the rush of alcohol take over my body. My eyes close as I sway my body. When I go to take a sip of my drink I realize it's empty. I look down at the cup in my hand and see just ice inside. I don't want this feeling to fade so I decide I need another drink. As I begin to walk toward the bar, my blurred vision causes me to stumble. I take a moment allow my vision to catch up to my movements to keep myself from falling. I finally find the courage to move forward, which causes me to fall unto the person in front of me.I feel a tense grip grab unto my waist to keep me from hitting the ground.I could tell by the force and tension of the grip I fell unto a guy. When I look up everything in the room becomes still as if time had literally froze. My vision miraculously restored. These are the types of moments you think only happen in the movies. In front of me I see the most beautiful man I've ever laid my eyes upon. This beautiful man gives me a slight grin as if he knows I'm in complete admiration. He resembles Aladdin if Aladdin was more than a cartoon.His eyes were a soul piercing Amber that could captivate you in seconds. If there was a button I could press to freeze this moment for longer, I'd press it a hundred times. As I am brought back to this moment, I can feel my drink giving me courage to talk to this mysterious man. I keep my arms wrapped onto him as I say, "Wow you're pretty. Wait I meant to say, hey!." His eyes soften to mine as his grin turns to a smile. "Hey" he says back in a unique accent. My smile grows as a child's would in a candy store, as  if he told me the most romantic thing. My heart is heavily thrusting in my chest as if it is about to burst. I feel a warm tension form between us as if our souls are drawn to each others. I know this is probably just the alcohol in my system making me feel so intensely. I realize my body is still being supported by his, so I stumble away from his grip and prop myself up against the wall for support. His eyes follow mine and I am tempted to get his name. As go to ask for his name, the dizzy feeling begins to rush back with vengeance. I had to close my eyes for a moment to keep myself from throwing up. After a few moments of focusing on not throwing up, I am able to reopen my eyes. When my eyes open up I no longer see this beautiful man. I quickly scan the room to see if I can find him. When I look around the bar seems to be crowded with more people than I realized. There is no way I could find him here with this many people. "You've got to be kidding me." I mumble out of frustration. "Did I just imagine this guy or did he just vanish?" I mumble again. I feel someone grip unto my arm and a quick rush of relief falls upon me. He came back for me, until I turn around and see the person gripping my arm is my friend Van. The relief is quickly replaced with sadness. Van looks like he is over the bar scene and ready to go home. He confirms my thoughts when he asks, "Miley, are you ready to go home?". I gave him a quick nod, since I now have no reason to continue to be at this bar. As we walk outside the humid Louisiana air filled my lungs and it gave me a small sense of sobriety. I'm reminded that I live in Louisiana, the state I'd be lucky if I even found a decent frog to date. Nobody finds true love in Louisiana, they just find settlements."I shouldn't of come tonight." I begin to yell. The cops look as me and Van as we walk down the strip to our car.  "You had a bad night?" Van asks as he grips my arm harder to ensure I don't lose balance and fall. "I'm so drunk I'm imagining things so I just want to go home!" I harshly demand. I guess you can say the effects of my drink turned to the more violent side. Van knows better than to argue with me so he kindly nods and helps me into his truck. His truck always smells of rich cologne when I get in. I try to focus on the smell to keep my mind from wondering. As Van drives me back to my apartment, there is silence between us. I just stare out the window and watch the cars pass by. I hate silence, because silence gives my mind territory to get creative. I wish my life was how it used to be, before my heart was broke by a boy and I lost myself in him. Of course I'm not talking to the boy I just met or imagined at the boy, but the one who I should be going home to right now.