Astrid (ON HOLD)

Astrid

I lie back, my head softly falling into the soft grass. I gaze up in wonder at the beautiful night sky above me. The gentle breeze makes the grass flutter around me and I inhale deeply, taking in the smells I associate with summer. The night is still warm, and I know I will stay up here for hours. Summer is my favourite time of the year.

I take in the wonder of the stars above me, sighing as I take in the view. I am alone up here, upon this small hill in the middle of the tiny forest. It is quiet, just they way I like it. The city is about 5 miles away, so no light pollution prevents me from seeing the stars in all their glory. My house is half a mile away, but it is hidden by the tall trees.

As I gaze up at the stars, I get the usual longing. I have begged and begged my papa to buy me a telescope but he always refuses. I long to get a good look at the stars up close, but the best telescopes cost too much. I sigh. There is always an issue with money.

I don't have many friends. I usually get left alone in school. Sometimes people will pick on me, mostly because of my accent and the fact that I don't speak fluent French yet, but mostly they mock me because of the money situation and the fact that it is only me and papa. They push me down the stairs, laughing as I stumble, trying to regain balance. They lock me in the bathrooms, shutting off the light so I can't see. Then, after I get into deep trouble with the teachers at the school for missing out half of the lesson as I figure my way out, they will ambush me after school.

I've never showed any sign of weakness whilst in school, but when I get home I cycle up to this hill and sob my heart out.

It is a cruel world we live in.

I'm always trying to convince my papa to let me get home-schooled. He always says no. Yet again with the money. He knows that I am unhappy, and he knows that I miss my mama, but he rarely talks to me. I think he is still upset over mama, and I think he looks at me and pictures her, which ends up filling him with desperate longing. He knows that he wont ever see her again.

My mama left us two years ago now, when I was 12. I remember all the fights I had listened into between her and papa. They always argued in fluent French, but I could always pick out a few things from their arguments. Some horrible things were said between them, and I remeber being shocked that they came out of my mama's mouth.

A month after one of their really bad fights, she packed up and left us here in France. It just so happens it was two months until my birthday, when I turned thriteen. She took most of our money and we were left with nothing. She never said where she was going, and she never said if she would be back. I still haven't heard from her. It still breaks my heart to think about it. I never even got a birthday card.

A month after she left us we moved here, Marseille, to where my papa's parents lived. We ran out money pretty fast after my mama had left, so we had to go. My grand-père and grand-mère sent over money for us so that we could fly across from England, and then we moved into a house a mile away from theirs, which is where we still live now. My papa works, but he is unhappy with his job. I see my grands-parents after school on my way home. They are the only people I really talk to, which I guess is kind of depressing. For my birthday, I asked them to get me a telescope, and I really hope they do. I have to wait fifteen days however. Fifteen days until I turn fifteen.

I re-focus my concentration on the stars, dreaming of what they may look like through a telescope. I know that in 20 days time there will be a meteor shower and I long to see it up close. My goal in life is to become an astrophysicist, so I can work out the wonder of the stars. The whole idea of space fascinates me. It always has, even from when I was only four years old. The possible fact that it may not just be us out there has me wishing and hoping. The multi-universe theory has me fascinated for hours, thinking of what my life could have been. I don't get sad though, I get hopeful.

I relax again as I stare at the heavens above me as I daydream, then I realise how long I have been up here. The air is cooler now as night has settled in. My phone begins to buzz in my pocket, and I answer within seconds.

"Salut papa," I say into the phone.

"Salut Astrid," papa said. "I would like it if you could come back home now, it is getting very late and very froid."

"D'accord papa! I am on my way. Au revoir!" I say to him as I hang up the phone. I gaze at the stars one last time before I sigh and slowly climb down the hill toward my bike. I hop on, a smile on my face. I really hope I get a telescope for my birthday.

***

Hello!! Sorry I have been neglecting you all, I have beden so busy, and this idea popped into my head so I had to start writing! I hope you enjoy this story, and I will update SHIVER soon!!

Natalie x