Getting Late for Days

It's All We Have To Hold Onto

Jack had always had some issues with sleep, but this was another story. Even with Alex to comfort him, the hospital was cold and unfamiliar, the sheets were scratchy, and the bed was harder than a porn star’s dick. He tried to sleep, he really did, but it just wasn’t happening. So instead he stayed up, cherishing the every breath that Alex released and stroking his back gently. I hope we can leave soon, he thought to himself. I hate this place. Alex snuggled deeper into his side, a smile on his sleepy face. That was one thing Jack had always loved even before they were together, the way Alex smiled in his sleep. It was cuter than a puppy yawning, and he had yet to see it topped.

So he just stayed up, his fingers running over Alex’s back and his mind contemplating all the ways he loved Alex and all the reasons he did. It was just an Alex-filled night for Jack. It was another couple hours before he finally drifted off to sleep.

                                                            ******************

Jack awoke to Alex staring at him with large eyes, one of his hands in Jack’s hair, the other on his chest. Jack smiled at him, and Alex smiled back.

“Dude, it’s like one in the afternoon,” Alex teased.

“How many times have you gone for coffee?” Jack joked.

“Actually, none. I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Aw, Lex, you didn’t have to do that. How long have you been up?”

“Four hours.”

“And you haven’t moved?”

“Didn’t need to. Everything I need is here.”

They both stayed silent for a while, just wrapped up in each other. Neither moved, nor spoke, nor did anything else. That is, until Alex reluctantly broke the silence by saying, “Remember when I said everything I needed was here?”

“Yeah,” Jack replied, looking down at him with a somewhat concerned expression.

“I lied. I need coffee.”

Jack laughed, and Alex felt it from his place at the darker-haired boy’s chest. “Just go,” Jack excused. “I’ll be fine.”

When Alex left, Jack thought back to the dream he’d had before, the one that had left him in a state of sheer panic. The problem was that he’d experienced the same dream just then, but before he awoke something told him it wasn’t real. Maybe it had been Alex’s hand comfortingly tangled Jack’s blond-streaked hair, or the way he’d been curled into Jack’s chest. But whatever it was, it kept him from alarming Alex too badly.

In the dream, Jack was home. Except that he wasn’t exactly home; he’d never been to this place before, but it felt homely, and he somehow sensed Alex’s presence there. He called out to his boyfriend, knowing he was somewhere in the house but not knowing exactly where. He climbed the staircase to the second floor, his feet leading to what seemed to be their bedroom. It was messy, but that was to be expected. Who needed to clean when you could just make out?

Jack got the feeling that something wasn’t right. It was just off somehow. An uneasiness began to grow in his stomach, and he was now genuinely afraid, not for himself but for Alex.

“Lex?” he called out. “Alex? Where are you, darling?” Jack heard a slight sob coming from the bathroom. Alex. He rushed towards it, slamming open the door. The sight in front of him made him want to cry. Alex was standing, holding his left wrist in his other hand. A razor blade was on the floor, stained with Alex’s blood; it appeared as if he had dropped it. The older boy was sobbing as blood ran from the fresh cuts on his wrist into the sink. There was so much blood, far too much. Jack rushed to him, grabbing a roll of toilet paper and pressing the whole thing to his bleeding wrist.

“What happened?” Jack demanded, calm but gentle. Alex just cried, staying silent. Tears ran down his cheeks as he sobbed. Jack held him in his arms, taking out his cell phone, dialing 9-1-1, and telling them the address that he didn’t actually know existed. When the call was through, Jack tossed the phone to the side, not caring what happened to it. The sound of it breaking apart led him to belief it landed on the hard tile. He held Alex tighter as he felt the broken boy’s body go weak and collapse into unconsciousness. Jack sunk to the floor, still holding the bloodied Alex, as he heard the sirens getting closer, but Alex’s heartbeat was faltering. He picked the blade up from the floor, studying it for a moment. He held Alex’s body in his lap, and pulled his face up within reach. Giving his love one last kiss, he brought the blade to his wrist and--

Jack shuddered, reaching the end of his recall. He knew that if anything like that had happened, if he’d found Alex in that state, that would be the outcome; real Jack would definitely behave the same way dream Jack had. But it was okay, because Alex was fine. Alex would always be fine. Alex was strong, he’d been through a lot as it was, and he definitely wouldn’t be leaving Jack any time soon. Right?

Alex came back with a coffee cup in his hand just as Jack mentally chided himself for thinking such thoughts. A nurse followed with Jack’s lunch, setting it on a wheeled table and putting it within his reach as Alex sat in the chair next to the bed. Jack downed the food quickly, not relishing the taste, and pushed the table aside as his lover trashed the beige café cup. Alex took the casting off of the table as his invitation to snuggle, and went to sit, stopping when he heard a familiar voice call his name.

“Alex! Alex, can I speak with you for a moment?” called the woman, though it took Alex a moment to place it. The name soon struck him, however, and he called “Dr. Harper!” before exiting the room, looking back at Jack as a form of temporary goodbye.

NOTE: It's short, but I posted two today so you can't be mad. Also, I think this is my favorite one so far. I'm sorry if the dream sequence thingy made you sad; I cried when I wrote it. Thanks for reading!