TW: alcohol, death mentions, wanting to die, minor slut shaming, murder mentions (kinda), language, use of the words skank and whore, choking, mention of bees, divorce mention, weight mention, sex mention, blood mention (it's metaphorical blood though)
~~~~~~
While Thomas was out getting en(gay)ged, Nico was at home drowning his worries in whiskey.
He sat on his bed in Patton's basement with his guitar and a bottle of Jack Daniels. He took out a notebook and a pen and started messing around with the guitar, writing little notes when he figured out chord progressions he liked with the words flowing out of his mouth.
"You don't know how much I need you
while you're near me I don't feel blue
and when we kiss I know you need me too
I can't believe I found a love that's so pure and true" he sang softly
"But it was all bullshit
it was all a goddamn joke
and when I think of you, Linda
I hope you fucking choke" he screamed as he aggressively stunned his guitar
"I hope you're glad with all you've done
I lay in bed all day feeling melancholy
you left me here all alone tears running constantly
Oh, somebody kill me please
somebody kill me please
I'm on my knees
pretty, pretty please kill me
I want to die
put a bullet to my head" Nico finished singing and put his guitar down, letting tears fall from his eyes. He sat there silently crying for a while before he heard a knock on his door.
"Come in" he said, wiping the tears from his eyes. Remus and Virgil entered the room. Remus held a piece of paper, and Virgil held a box of chocolate.
"Hey, bud. We brought you something," Virgil said quietly as he sat down on the edge of the bed and handed Nico the chocolate.
"Also Pat wanted us to bring this down to you" Remus added, handing Nico the piece of paper. Nico unfolded it and saw a note written in his Grandfather's sloppy handwriting
'To my dearest Nico,
I know you're feeling low. And though things might seem dismal, there's one thing you need to know. You'll find someone who loves you, sure as waves will find the shore.
Love ya, Grandpa'
Nico smiled softly. His grandfather may be the most embarrassing person ever sometimes, but he really loved him. Nico unwrapped the chocolate and took a bite
"Also, when you're sad, just remember that Linda is a skanky whore" Remus reminded him, causing Nico to slightly choke on his chocolate out of surprise.
"Remind me why I'm friends with you" Nico said with a laugh
"Aw, shut up. You know you love us" Virgil responded with a laugh
"Wait... random idea" Remus said
"Oh no" Virgil and Nico said at the same time
"We should go to a bar and get drunk together... just for funsies!" Remus suggested
"I don't know I mean... I'm planning on not performing for a while and I don't really have another source of income so I don't wanna go out and spend a bunch of money" Nico said
"Look... I'm not saying you have to, but if you want to and money is the only thing stopping you... one of my close friends owns a bar not too far from here, and he owes me a couple favors so..." Remus said. Nico smiled.
"If you're sure it wouldn't be too much trouble, that'd be fun" he said
"It won't be trouble at all"
About 20 minutes later, they arrived at Cloud Nine Bar. The walked in the door and Remus immediately greeted the bartender.
"Ro! What's up, dude?"
"Oh my god! Re! It's been too long!" the bartender, who had reddish-brown hair and wore a pair of tan jeans, a white button-up with the sleeves rolled up, and a maroon apron walked around the bar to give Remus a hug
"...Mus, are you gonna introduce us or..." Virgil asked
"Oh! Yeah! Guys, this is Roman, my best friend since ever, Ro, this is Virgil and Nico" Remus introduced them and they did the normal 'nice to meet you' stuff
"So, what can I get going for you guys?" Roman asked
Half an hour later, Remus and Nico were wasted. Mostly Nico. Virgil was fine though.
"Wait okay, she broke up with you because you're not famous enough, right?" Remus asked, earning a nod from Nico "So if you want to get her back, we just have to get more famous!"
"...And how do you expect us to do that?" Virgil asked
"We just have to use our contacts!" Remus responded confidently
"...What contacts? Sweetie, the only famous person we know is the weather man from channel 6... and the only reason we have his phone number is because he made a move on you... in an Arby's" Virgil said, causing Remus to sigh
"Yeah, I'm not calling him... again" Remus replied
Nico got up from where he was sitting and started just wandering around the room.
"I've never seen him like this" Virgil whispered
"Me neither" Remus whispered back
"Guys! There's a karaoke machine!" Nico yelled excitedly
"Oh fuck yeah!" Remus responded, much less drunk but equally as excited about the idea of karaoke
"Oh god..." Virgil groaned, knowing this type of stuff never ends well with Remus and Nico
The pair started looking through the songs and chose the one that they felt best fit their current situation.
"I thought I had the kinda love you find in fairy tales" Nico began "But then my girl ripped out my heart with her plastic, press-on nails"
"So if you've felt the kind of pain this losers singing of" Remus sang "Then let me here you say it... you're a casualty of love, just a casualty of love"
"I'm a casualty of love!" Nico sang
"Woo! Tell me about it" Remus responded
"I put a top hat on my cat then asked him to my prom, I got stood up by my date and by date, I mean my mom, each night I open up my mouth and give those twinkies a shove" Nico sang
"Well I know why you do it... you're a casualty of love" Remus sang
"I'm a casualty of love" Nico sang
"Just a casualty of love" Remus sang, addi's some swing to the word love
"I'm a casualty of-" Nico began
"Love!" the pair sang together
"We're from different walks of life, and different points of view" Nico sang "But we come together now"
"Through our hatred of you! 'Cause we're casualties of love!" they sang together
"Love's a trick, love's a trap
Love's a hot chick with the clap
Love's a hoax, love's a tease
a piñata full of bees
Love's a joke, love's a scam
A Sargent Slaughter body slam
Love's a wound, watch it bleed
Love's the only thing I-" Nico sang. There was an instrumental break before he started singing again.
"And you'll end up just like me
'cause trust me, love always ends
you'll be fat, divorced and broke while she has sex with all of your friends!"
"You'll be casualties of love!
Love's a trick, love's a trap
Love's a hot chick with the clap
Love's a hoax, love's a tease
a piñata full of bees
Love's a joke, love's a scam
A Sargent Slaughter body slam
Love's a wound, watch it bleed
Love's the only thing I need, I need" The pair sang together
"No one's ever gonna love a casualty of love!" Nico sang dramatically. The bar fell silent for a moment before Virgil spoke.
"Why the hell am I still friends with you two?"
YOU ARE READING
The Wedding Singer
ActionWhen Nico Flores, the lead singer of a well known wedding band, is left at the alter by his own fiancé, he ends up falling for a kind waiter. The only problem is this waiter has an incredibly rich (and incredibly rude) boyfriend. Ships: Pintroverts...
