More Than a Memory

23

Aiden is watching for Harry when he walks into the coffee shop, already sipping from an enormous to-go cup.

He knows his eyes are red-rimmed, but there's nothing he can do about that. Harry waves, acknowledging that he's seen him, then goes to the counter and orders a small black coffee, and makes his way over.

"Hey," he says. "I'm sorry I didn't call you back last night, or answer your texts, I left my phone in another room and I was..."

Aiden swallows hard. His throat still feels thick. "Busy fucking your ex?"

Harry levels an even stare at him. He shrugs. "Yeah."

"So now what are you going to...oh my god you already got back together with him." Aiden knows, just from the expression on his face. He doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Why?"

"I'm in love with him," Harry says softly. "I never stopped being in love with him."

"He's a dick, Harry."

Harry shrugs. His lips quirk up like he's fighting a smile. "Sometimes."

"How can you be with someone like that?"

Harry's expression hardens. "You met him once. When he was jealous."

"You told me all about him," Aiden sneers. "Remember?"

"When I was hurt and angry and trying to make myself hate him," Harry sighs. "You haven't got a clue what he's really like, what we're like, together, you don't even know...he's the one person who truly understands me, what I've been through..."

"I wanted to understand you!" Aiden bursts out in frustration. "I could have been that person! But you wouldn't let me in!"

Harry shakes his head. "I couldn't, I'm sorry."

"So I really was just a placeholder," he says bitterly. "For him."

"No!" Harry shakes his head. "You weren't, it's not...I never expected him to come back. I thought we agreed at the beginning that this wasn't supposed to be...you knew what this was."

Aiden knows his face has twisted into something unrecognizable in his hurt and anger. "Well I fell in love with you anyway, you prick. Even with the secrets, and the walls you have up, and our stupid no-strings-attached arrangement, and now what the fuck am I supposed to do?" Hot tears start to trickle down his face.

Harry looks stricken, as if he's been slapped. "I didn't..."

"What, realize? Feel the same way?"

He nods. Yes to both.

"Do you care about me at all?"

"You're my friend," Harry says softly.

"I don't mean as friends," Aiden wants to scream, wants to tear at his own hair in frustration. "I mean as more than that."

"I wanted to," Harry admits, looking sad. "But I couldn't."

"Why could a one night stand with him turn into something real and not me?"

Harry's gaze drops to the table. "I'm sorry, Aiden. This was never going to be more than it was, I thought you knew."

"I hate you." Aiden stands, his chair scraping across the floor. He yanks his coat on and walks away. "I wish I hated you," he says over his shoulder.

"I know." Harry looks miserable, but he doesn't have anything more to say for himself.

Aiden can't help glancing back as he pushes the door open and the bell jingles merrily. Harry doesn't look up. His gaze is locked on his cup, his hands wrapped around it, his mouth pulled into a pained frown.

With a shuddering breath, he lets the door swing closed behind him, embracing the chill in the air as it hits him.

As quickly as he'd come into his life, Harry Potter has gone out of it, and left a gaping hole.