Too Haught to Handle (WAYHAUGHT)

Chapter 14

Waverly was beginning to gather the shattered pieces of her life back together. Sam had been wonderful. Waverly knew she had been in contact with Nicky, but hadn't mentioned any of their conversations. Sam had been her counsellor, her cheerleader, her big sister through everything she was going through. They spent evenings drinking after work in the centre of London, or in Crystal Palace, or in each other's flat. She missed not having Wynonna close to her in this moment of crisis, but Sam provided the emotional crutch she needed to hobble out of this phase of her life.

Sam knocked on her door one evening, they only having been together a few hours earlier in the office. Yet another bottle of wine in her hand, Waverly smiled, motioning her to come in.

"I'll end up an alcoholic at this rate," Waverly laughed, grabbing two glasses from the kitchen.

They sat chatting about the hectic day both of them had had. Their big project was close to going live and there was a lot going on at work. It had been enough to keep Waverly's mind occupied, to not dwell constantly on what had happened between her and Nicole.

Laughing about a cock up earlier in the day after new branding signage in the BBC foyer had been revealed by mistake, Sam was quiet for a moment. She had something important to say to Waverly, not sure if saying it would be the right thing, or the right time.

"Listen, I know it's only been a few weeks, but I think you need to meet with Nicky."

Waverly sat looking at Sam, wondering what she knew that she was now trying to convey.

"I can't Sam," she replied. "Nothing, she can say is going to change what's happened between us."

"I understand. It's just, she's utterly miserable right now. I just think the two of you need to talk."

"She's miserable!" Waverly scoffed, rolling her eyes at the comment.

"She needs direction. I think everything got too much for her. She panicked and did the only thing she could, which was close down emotionally to you." Sam paused, trying to think of the best way to say what she was about to say.

"She needs someone to show her the way. You're that person, Waverly."

"I seriously doubt I am," Waverly replied.

"Look, just talk to her. Meet her for a drink if that's what you both decide. I know I'm asking a lot of you right now, but I think it's what both of you need. I wouldn't ask if I didn't love you two so much."

Sam gave Waverly a hug, standing up to leave her flat. "I'll tell Nicky to call you, OK."

Waverly sat on the sofa after Sam left, not knowing whether she wanted this. She turned on the TV, pouring herself another glass of wine. This was going to be a long night.

It was just after 9pm. The last dregs of the bottle of wine she had opened with Sam were now in her glass when her phone rang.

It was Nicole.

She answered the phone, unable to say anything, the word coward repeating in her head.

She heard Nicole's voice say 'hi,' but couldn't bring herself to say anything in response.

"Waverly, are you there?" Nicole asked.

Still no words. Hearing Nicole's voice was bittersweet. She hated her and loved her at the same time.

"Waverly, please if you're there, say something."

"Coward." She had said it. The word she needed Nicole to hear. The word she had repeated to herself over and over, after receiving Nicole's email.

"I love you," Nicole whispered, knowing what she had done was unforgivable.

"No, Nicole. You don't. You wouldn't have done what you did, if you loved me."

"Waverly, please, I love you," Nicole repeated, the emotion breaking in her voice.

Waverly was silent. As much as she needed to hear Nicole say she loved her, the trust between them had been broken. How could she ever trust Nicole again after what she had done.

"You've put me through hell," Waverly said after a pause. "That's not love. Not the love I want."

"Waverly, please. Can we meet? Just a drink. I need to see you. Please." Nicole's begging almost drawing Waverly back in.

"I can't. I'm sorry. Have a nice life," she said, hanging up, feeling she had taken back some control.

Sam didn't mention Nicole again, after that conversation. She knew it was too soon, too raw for Waverly for anything Nicole might want to say to her. She knew Nicole well enough to let her find her own way back to Waverly. It was their relationship afterall and she needed to step back and let them work out how to go forward.

A month after the break up Sam and Waverly were leaving the office, laughing about yet another cock up they had had to deal with that day. Sam spotted Nicole first, hovering in the concourse leading up to their building. She looked at Waverly and then Nicole, realising the two needed to be alone. Waverly spotted Nicole and stopped.

Nicole approached, looking hesitant, knowing she was encroaching on Waverly's territory, unable to stop herself.

"Can we go for a drink?" she asked, looking at Sam, then Waverly.

Waverly really wanted to say No, but then thought it would only prolong the agony of whatever Nicole wanted to say to her. Sam made her excuses and left the pair alone.

"A quick drink," Waverly said, curtly. "There's not much that needs to be said right now."

They made their way to a pub just off Regents Street, Waverly spotting a table in the corner, Nicole going to get drinks. She sat down, looking at Waverly, unable to start the conversation.

After what seemed like ages, Waverly finally broke the tension.

"Say what you have to say."

"I don't know why I ran." She paused. "I adore you, just the thought of it being anything more than casual scared me. I know you wanted more from me, I just don't know if I can give that right now."

"Is that so?" Waverly said.

"Look, can we be friends and see where this goes?"

Waverly sat nursing her glass of wine, contemplating whether to drink it down in one or throw it over Nicole.

"So, let's get this straight. You fuck me, forget me and now you want to friend me. Have I got that right?"

Nicole sat looking at Waverly, now realising why she loved this girl and her ability to turn a phrase effortlessly.

"OK, when you put it like that, it sounds crass."

"Listen, Nicole. I wouldn't friend you if you were the last person on earth right now. So, let's get one thing clear here. I'm not Shae. I'm not some collectible of yours. I'm Waverly Earp and if you haven't got the guts to stand in front of me and tell me you love me, then I'm sorry, but it's game over."

Nicole was impressed.

"I have a train to catch," Waverly said, standing up, feeling for once in her life she had definitely done the right thing.

She was no longer in trouble.