this is targeted specifically at fanfic writers (a self-drag), because quite frankly you just don't see this in published novels, but stop writing to impress your readers. i mean full-stop on throwing a bunch of lengthy euphemisms together for what should be a very simple sentence. (did your character really "sweep with debonair fluency to the chambre, pink wine bubbling in their ivory palm" or did they just enter the room elegantly and take a swig of champagne? is the first description necessary or does it just drag the pacing in favour of prose?) i get it, you write like that on an app like this, and the response is overwhelmingly positive. all-caps comments telling you your vocabulary is amazing and the writing sounds so pretty. but i'm sorry, some of the stuff i see, pretty as it sounds, is almost illegible to read. so my question is, are you writing to tell a story or are you writing to be complimented?
your readers can absolutely, absolutely tell that you went back and forth between tabs on thesaurus a hundred times per chapter. and i've been there, but believe me, you don't have to do this. your readers can tell when your writing is genuine and when it's forced. stop trying to find a new synonym for every single word you write. your draco malfoy fanfic shouldn't feel like reading a page from a victorian dictionary.
ex 1)
"Elise prudently clambered the palisade, incensedly surveying the sequence of bedraggled bedchambers. She was vexed by this requisite undertaking."
do you see how there's just... a lot happening here? that's because i used thesaurus for every other word. any casual reader is not gonna understand what you're trying to say and even if they do it just comes off as unnecessarily complicated albeit a little pretentious. insert grammarly add.
ex 2)
"Elise scaled the wall, observing the dirty row of bedrooms with sour apprehension. She'd sworn off operations like this."
i promise you it doesn't have to be a shakespeare sonnet every sentence. space your prose and imagery between regular dialogue and descriptions so that it's more impactful, otherwise it just gets repetitive and there's no punch.
that isn't to say that you can't incorporate new vocab into your work—you should—but don't be so afraid to use the "easy" words. all of those fancy adverbs you're shovelling into your writing make it seem disingenuous!! i promise you, that cool word you found in your favourite poem will sound better in an organic line, instead of swarmed with pretty stuff you googled that are just vaguely synonymous with what you actually want to say. if you're impeding on the intended meaning of the sentence, you need to take a step back and rework it.
again, this is something i still struggle with. i try to look at it from the perspective of a reader, because i know personally i can be a bit oblivious to it in my own writing, but when i see other books like this it almost feels like the writer is throwing the words at my face. it comes across as trying really really hard to prove to me that you're a good writer, instead of just writing. i promise i won't forget you're a good writer just because you don't remind me every two seconds with another three syllable word!!!! let your story breathe for a minute, it's all good :)
and there are ways around this: read your writing out loud (you'll hear how dramatic it sounds), double check the definition of that cool new word and see if it actually means what you think it means, and keep track of words you like when you see them. i have like, four pages of notes that are just... words i like. i write them down when i'm reading or having a conversation or watching a movie and i come across them. trust me, you see them in context and it's a lot easier to know where you should put them.
a wide vocabulary in your writing is always a good thing, but refrain from the actual story taking a backseat for prose. use the words that come naturally to you. edit a few fun ones in later. if the writing is good it will speak for itself i promise <3
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