My Best Friend Jade West

Part One

I have a best friend. Her name is Jadelyn Katherine West. She is beautiful. But not like the girls on TV, or on posters. She doesn't have the biggest chest, or the flattest stomach. She isn't blonde, isn't tan and doesn't have a thigh gap. She has flaws. Big ones. But she is beautiful to me. And, I'm in love with her.

She always seemed so strong, so unbreakable. I should have seen the signs. But whenever I said to her that she looked upset, she would hug me close and tell me not worry. But I did. I worried so much. But then she'd kiss me, and I'd forget, just for a second that she needed help, that she needed someone to be her shoulder to cry on. I should've been that girl.

They told me her last few moments would have been painless. They say that she's in a better place now. But what about me? I see her everywhere I go. Smell her. Feel her. Sense her. She was my soul mate. And now she's gone.

Life doesn't even seem to matter anymore. Why should I carry on when the girl I love died? She is with the angels now, I know. But can't the angels just let her come back, just for me to say goodbye? We never got a proper goodbye.

Most days I just lay on my back, staring at the ceiling and gripping on to her favourite top. It's black and has her favourite band logo across. Halestorm. I got it made for her. But on one of the sleeves it says 'Cat Valentine' and the other, 'Jade West'. She used to wear it almost everyday. Sometimes she'd sleep in it. I keep hold of it, so the smell of her it always with me. Always.

My mom says I should move on. My dad says that I'll forget her soon enough. I can see it on my friends eyes as well. But they don't get it. I don't want to move on. I don't want to forget. Jadelyn West was not just my best friend. Not just my girlfriend. She understood me and all my quirks. She was me. She was my life. Now.... My life has no worth. No meaning.