Gill's confusion (MW AU FLUFF)

Gay gay homiesexual CW: EWW GAYS

A few hours earlier Gill offered Jean to stay on the bed like usual, but instead of the regular "Nah I'm good" accompanied by that stupid cheeky grin, Jean actually said yes.

Of course Gill was perplexed! I mean, was he actually serious about this?? "Uh, I err- I can just stay on the couch if you aren't comfortable—" Jean was cut off, "No no! You can stay! I can even stay with you if you'd like." They stood there both bewildered and unsure if the other would be comfortable.

"I'd be down with that." Jean let out an awkward chuckle trying to ease the atmosphere, Gill became pure red at that remark. "Ah, Alrighty! um- I should probably get dressed then!"

"Alrighty."

Then Gill finds himself in the present.

Gill and Jean laying down
On the same bed.
With Jean as the big spoon and Gill as the small spoon.

In truth they weren't uncomfortable, just very unsure what to do now. Jean could tell Gill had something on his mind. Maybe this was a mistake?

Jean reached out his hand for the other but before he could say anything Gill grabbed the hand and held it tightly.

Gill gently closed his fingers around Jean's. His hand felt so comforting, so warm and familiar. This was that moment. He'd thought he'd never think of this again but he knew it was unavoidable.

Did he like Jean..?
And did Jean like him?

His heart raced as he debated endlessly whether or not this was true, even thinking about the possibility always confused him. He's just a client who had a serious addiction problem and some.. really.. cool sexy scars...

Stay focused! Gill repeated to himself.

Okay he'll admit it, maybe he likes him on some level. I mean, he can cook surprisingly well, the food he makes me always fills my head with serotonin..? or wait was it dopamine? and.. he did end up moving in with me...

Shit.

Alright how about his personality??

I mean.. he's a bit of a dork, who keeps obsessing over whatever Mia shows him, but it's because he's interested in Mia's interests.. also mine's and Ivan's, he's funny and kind and charming and so far he's just the sweetest- ever since I've met him he's made me giggle and laugh like a horse at the stupidest of things—

Oh no.

It's a stupid yes or no question Gill!
Do I like him..?
Or not.

He felt himself heat up at the question

Suddenly he remembered the first time Jean's ever given him that look months ago.

It was a pleasant day at the Café they usually went to. They were waiting to pick up Ivan and Mia from school when Gill started rambling about the kids, how much they meant to him, how he's so glad Jean agreed to help take care of them while Mike was out at sea while Becky and Maria started dating and she was working late hours,

when he noticed Jean, who was eagerly listening to him. His attention entirely focused on him. Gill's face turned red as Jean started apologizing for staring, but he had to be honest, the sight of him attentively focusing on him was something that made his heart skip a beat.

That's it.

He already knew the answer and couldn't do this tossing and turning thinking, he couldn't convince himself anymore. He didn't care if he'd regret it. This was his chance.

This was his chance

He took a long and deep breath.

"Jean." Gill whispered

"Oh, I can stay on the couch if you w—"

"I love you."

"I- Oh,"

"Oh."

Gill's stomach turned and swirled as his breathing quickened. A thousand! no, a million questions raced through his head! "Oh?" Shit did he mess up- did he read the situation wrong? Did he read the relationship wrong? Was this too early? Did Jean hate him? Was this a mistake- Oh fuck oh nononononono—

"I love you too, Gill."

Gill and Jean laid there completely and utterly flabbergasted at the things they just said. There was a quiet silence while the distance between them was intimate. They both couldn't believe what they just said, this had to be a dream right?? No. Gill loved Jean, Jean was his world, and to Jean, Gill was his everything.

"This sounds so cheesy but whenever I was around you, it felt like I was dreaming, I felt so safe. You always pushed the right buttons even when you were a bit awkward." Jean lightly replied.

"I thought.. you liked me as a friend."

"You were always a bit oblivious when it came to feelings." Jean let out a small snicker. Still I can't thank you enough, you.. helped me get out of that hellhole I dug myself into after all."

Gill let out a small chuckle that filled their space. That soft but sincere laugh always made Jean's heart flutter. This was all happening so fast- I mean them? In a relationship? The guy he moved in with???

There was a lengthy pause as they held each other's hands tightly.

"Well, you're right. You filled a hole I didn't know I had—" Gill flushed and stopped himself, Jean nearly gagged and let out one of his typical "giggles" that always flustered Gill even more. "I mean- you were there when I needed you, when I had no one. I never knew how lonely I was until you started to—"

"Pester and tease you?" They both cracked up smiling while Gill rolled his eyes.

"Yeah you dork. You always stuck around even when I didn't know what to do. I wish I knew how to repay you."

Jean pressed their hands even closer than before.

"Well, I do know one way you can repay me…"

"No." Gill said jokingly bluntly as Jean bursted out laughing. "Yeah yeah sure, you smooth talker. Go laugh all you want." Gill's smile grew softer and wider, butterflies swirled in him as Gill turned to face this so called "smooth talker"

Their eyes locked in place, they adoringly stared at each other for what seemed like hours. They felt the other's breathing and for a moment it was their heaven. Jean slowly leaned in barely even moving when Gill plunged towards him and kissed him with loving arms. Jean accepted it passionately and hugged him.

They were both putty in each other's warmth, messing around with each other's hair and tangling it, at one point Gill got so close Jean could've sworn their chests were touching.  When it was over they both couldn't believe what just happened.

They were in love.

It all felt like a dream.

After a while Gill started to doze off. For a moment right before everything went black Gill could hear a faint I love you and he softly kissed Jean a goodnight while they both slept soundly in each other's arms.

After that Mia and Ivan came back from their trip the next day and were like sheesh what the fuck is going on here QUEERS /hj

AN:
Special thanks to Mari! who helped me write all this pFF

Gay gay homosexuals amiright :marismug: