Interview 1.3

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"Of course. Everyone in that school knew Anne Katherine. She was... the popular one, the centre of that school." having recovered, he gave a shadow of a smile. A feeling of wonder flashed through his eyes as he looked on, away from Jen. Into his past, his child self. "Though I barely had much contact with her. She was older and a girl, going to different dormitories and classes. Anne was in a different world, even if she was close by." His feet danced while his eyes locked on hers. The dark air lifted and the surrounding atmosphere became a little lighter.

"What more can you tell me about Anne Katherine? Did she have a familiar too?" asked Jen, hopeful of his improved mood.

The dance stopped, and Jen knew she had crossed the line.

"Everyone had one." he was solemn and sour. His emotions were getting out of control, so he turned his head away. He concentrated on the white wall as if what he needed to say laid bare in there. "She came from a very rich and powerful family. They were the last big patrons of that school and, as you may imagine, everyone treated her like a princess, from professors to students. To me, she looked like a lonely girl who behaved haughtily with everyone else. By the end, she was plain awful. I am sure it was him... her demon." he whispered as he watched his own shadow form, his eyes enlarged as it grew big.

"How can you be sure that it was this demon or familiar that caused her to change?" her question made him shiver, and Jen thought for a moment it was from fright. The cold air that surrounded her, moments later, proved the contrary.

"Because that was what they did!" he screamed, catching her by surprise. She jumped away and her chair fell to the ground. Loud steps came closer to the door that remained unopened, everything turned silent, and when calm regained, the steps became distant, like Mr Knowles' memory. "Her demon was special... while ours tried to look harmless, a ruse to scared and innocent children, hers didn't." he looked at the obscured corner as if he was scared someone would jump from there.

Jen still wary, picked up her chair, putting it back up. This time, however, a step further away from the old man. She sat, never once taking her eyes from the man before her, and with a quiet voice she asked "What did he look like?"

"Not sure... We can only see ours clearly, the rest is a blur that hovered around. The initiation is the only time we can see each other's familiars. But I wasn't at her initiation, and I am thankful for that. The word horrifying was made for him... that was what they said, the girls who did the initiation with her. His blur was enough to give me nightmares, so I guess I can understand the girls fear. He was a humanoid... a red velvet suit that smelled like blood... his skin was grey, his... nails... claws... a nice topper and... in his face..." the man shook violently as he grabbed his own glass of water.

Jen felt sorry and feared that the man would cut himself as he gulped several sips of water. It was almost as if he believe the water was capable of washing away his worry. She let him finish before continuing, Jen didn't want to provoke an accident, but also she couldn't go on forever.

"What happened that year?" he knew what she meant. Mr Knowles put his hands on his face and breathed before he went on with his story.

"I was 15." he started. "Partying, drinking and drugs were normal as air back then. There was no day that I was not involved in those. I, like many others, was getting out of control. Blackouts were frequent..." Jen jerked in her seat. "Yet I did not care, as long as I enjoyed myself. One day, sunny and warm, I climbed a wall to the outside, to catch the view. It is at that time that I see her, this beautiful girl, passing by. My eyes couldn't stop themselves from watching her. I... wanted her..."

Jen scratched her rash that had returned in force. She wanted to scratch her arms, her legs, her breasts until it bled and more. No matter how much she tried to focus on the man and on her mission, the desire for the scratching never disappeared. And as she struggled with herself the man continued with his eyes hidden from her, his hands blocking her view of his face.

"My desire for her boiled inside me. I heard a whisper, soft and sweet, forming in my head. My little, harmless familiar, with his big eyes and woollen fur, told me: Take her, she wants you and you want her. Just do it." Jen was out of breath, she carved her nails on her arms, preventing herself from leaving. Her body shook, and his too. It became too much and she got up. She needed fresh air and distance.

But a hand grabbed Jen in place, making her freeze. "I blacked out. Only flashes came to me... Bloody hands, my hands. Pushing the girl down. Her screams, her cries, her begging.... her death." Jen tried to kick him, but he kept her stuck with a strength she thought was not possible for a man as thin as Mr Knowles. And her desire to scratch continued, but she wouldn't beg, wouldn't cry and wouldn't scream... wouldn't die. "Her lifeless body laid there... in the uneven ground. Next to her was him... my demon, my familiar... laughing." he let go of her and crouched on the ground, crying like a little child. Lost.

Jen ran to the door, her back leaning in the softwood, her eyes never leaving his frame. She made noise, tried to open the door, however, no steps, no voices came close. Mr Knowles continued to sit on the ground, crying.

"When I regained my sanity..." he laughed through his cries. "I was back in my room, clean and without any signs of struggle or blood."

Jen knew better, but she needed to keep him distracted as she tried to open the door. "Was it just a dream?" her voice faltered as she struggled with the door handle. But no matter how much she tried, it seemed locked. She was stuck in the room with a mad man who just stood there impassive, his eyes turned to the white wall.

Her rash came back.

"My friends thought so... They believed I had hallucinated everything. But it felt so real, so... evil. Her dying eyes as she watched me. Her warmth disappearing beneath my hands. All that blood... all of it... For weeks it haunted my every waking hour and my sleep. And I tried... tried hard to find what had happened. If she had existed or had been a product of my madness, yet I found nothing conclusive. My misery never left me though." he turned his eyes to Jen, making her reach for a small lamp close by, as a protective measure.

She screamed, but those died as he whispered, his eyes dead.

"I was feeding him..."

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