fic·tion
/ˈfikSH(ə)n/
a belief or statement that is false, but that is often held to be true because it is expedient to do so.
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It all happened in a snap.. I saw you walk pass by the coffee shop from the huge glass window.. fortunately, luck was very much with me, you went in! You look stunning as you walk inside the coffee shop, you're so pretty, your brown with blonde highlights.. your pointed nose.. your lips.. your deep mysterious eyes. I wanted to punch those who stared at you while you swiftly ran your hand over your hair but I should start with myself right? You're so pretty.
I don't know where did I even get the confidence when I stood up. I told myself just awhile ago to stop with the caffeine, but damn, what I'd do to get a close glance of you. When I finally went to the counter, where I shouldn't be in in the first place. I ordered, I silently cheered when you sat down. I was like 'Damn, she sat down it means she'll stay for a lil time.' I knew I was in trouble. The way you smile at the cashier make me wanna be a cashier right now.
"A frappuccino for Julianna!" The cashier pressed the bell on the counter, the girl I was keeping an eye on shot her head up. She smiled once again and stood up. That smile.. it's captivating. This is really bad.
Damn, that stayed in my mind the whole time I was working, even the time I was already at home! what is happening.. in my sleep that smile on her face would always visit me. It happened for a week. For a week because the other night I slept I dreamed of her drinking her frappuccino whilst scrolling on her cellphone.
I stopped typing on my laptop as a familiar figure went inside the coffee. I muttered a curse when she went away scrolling on her phone and just like my dreams, she was sipping on a frappucinno. How can a girl be so pretty.. by just drinking her drink.. how..
I lightly slapped my cheek, I gotta work.
"Meet Julianna, your new workmate. Your cube is beside Yro, Yro please raise your hand." Like the thunder I raise my hand as fast. "There." My boss said. Julianna's figure began to walk on my place and my heart was just a betrayer, every step she made makes my heart pounds.
"Hello. I'm Julianna Chelseah Evee, or Julia." She introduced smiling widely. Damn, this is exactly how her smile look like on my dreams. Just.. damn. "Um. Yro." She was already snapping her finger infront of me. I looked around only to see almost everyone looking at us, other chuckling. I felt my cheeks hotten, what was that?! I regret it so bad that I switched my gaze from her to my computer not saying anything.
That day I realized my heart was beating for you.. you caught me, Julianna, and it all happened in a snap..
Just how can you do that?! It was only you who I felt it with. The felling of admiring someone. For the first time.. after the long years of waiting, I found her; The one. But was I the one for you? what if she feels the same way I do but with another guy? I don't think I'll be able to accept it..
But who am I to interfer if ever..
"You've been spacing out a lot, lately, Yro, are you fine?" I nodded and began typing on my laptop. I heard her heave a sign and went back to cutting ingredients. Was I spacing out too much? should I divert my attention back to my work and not her? will I pretend that I don't know her?
The way she smiles, laugh. The way she runs her hand throught her brown, blonde highlighted hair, the way she sighs whenever she's tired, when she groans when she doesn't understand what she was doing. The way she loves her work, how she focuses on it, how she drinks her favorite frappuccino, how she has a new plants she bring everday when going to work, how she gives love to every small things. How my heart beats for her.. I'll miss that so no. I won't divert my attention she was taking. My whole life, I've spent it with working, everday, 24/7 I'm at my work, infront of a monitor, piles of papers and files, it's not bad to pause.. right? I'm not actually pausing my work.. so I guess it's just as right.
I'm starting to feel bad about this little crush in me for her. Everyday, it gets bad. And I hate how she would always steal my glance from time to time. This little crush in me was slowly growing, the way she looks at me was the thing that fasten it.
I hate how I assume just by how she smiles at me. I hate how I think that she smiles differently when she smiles at me. Its like the smile she gives me is a hundred times bigger than the ones she give to the other. But, of course, it was all done by that 'growing feelings' I have that I am keeping.
In a snap.. I found myself falling in love. It's been a year of just watching her from a far. A year and counting..
I wanted to confess as soon as possible. I know there's a lot of guys out there, everywhere, every corner that she can date and be in a relationship with. The day I met her from the day I actually grew feelings for her replayed in my mind, It all happened in a snap. In a snap I met her, in a snap, I had this little crush for her, in a snap I found myself actually falling in love with her. I didn't take any hesitations on accepting that I love her because this is what I wanted.
I happily went out the flower shop. Drove my car to the hotel I booked. I texted her to come at the location saying the dumbest reason.
For work purposes.
Gladly, she came in not wearing her usual pencil skirt and blouse. She was wearing a baby pink dress. That suits her paper white skin, very much. She looked stunning.
"Hello. Where are the others?" She asked. I mentally cursed myself not knowing what or how to answer.
I gathered up my self and said, "Julia.. I-I think I like y-you.. no.. actually I-I love you.." There. I finally said it. My hidden feelings were now shown. She finally know it. Her mouth parted and her eyes widened. Slowly, her mouth closed.
"S-sorry." I knew it coming. From the way she reacted, her hand gestures. She seem to be nervous with what she said. "I-I don't think I like you in the way you like me, sorry." Fucking shit.
My heart throbbed and I can feel something in me twitch. My eyes stinged and it started to water. I covered it up with a chuckle, I shook my head to wipe off the emotions.
"But.. I can try to." I shook my head.
"Don't bother. I'll just try to move on from you.." Because letting her try to like me is like forcing her to feel the same way I do. And I could never love someone who was just forced to love me in the first place.
I waited for two years for her to know so I'll be actually fully aware of this feelings. And I could never wait for more. I wanted her now but she doesn't so no. When I shook my head she walked away. This is what I was scared of.
When I finally letted out my feelings, when I finally confessed she's going to walk away from me. And in a snap, we're back to square one. Back to being stranger.
It all happened as fast as a snap.
-Reese.
