Chapter 8

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Dean

I'm going to call you backstay by your phone and answer when I call.

Wait Zo!-

Yesterday, our conversation was flowing well when, unexpectedly, Alonso wanted to end the call. After waiting for hours, I went to sleep but kept my phone close in case he called during the night.

Now, I'm enjoying a bowl of ramen after cleaning my house multiple times over the weekend. I've been browsing Netflix for a good show to watch.

My thoughts drift back to Zo.

Could it be that he didn't like me? Normally, I wouldn't mind, but for some reason, the thought of Zo not liking me is upsetting. Why this bothers me, I can't say.

He said he likes me, so I'm trying not to worry. Could it be possible that he was lying?

Fidgeting with my mask, I set the remote aside. I've finished watching the entire Squid Game series; it was compelling. Heartbreaking, but undeniably well-made.

This crossed my mind when I invited Zo out. In case you've forgotten, let me jog your memory: I asked Alonso to join me for a shopping trip.

But I've never been adept at inviting people out, having never really needed to before. Hence, I'm somewhat anxious.

Could this be considered a date?

I dismiss the thought with a shake of my head:

No, not at all just two friends getting to know eachother. Besides is he even gay not that I care though. The thought of doing anything sexual especially human contact disgusts me.

Wait! Why am I even thinking this? I never think of that topic!

 I wonder if Alonso is Gay let alone Bisexual?

Stop it, Dean! I shut myself up. However, I couldn't stop my cheeks from turning scarlet.

Maybe I should just cancel on him? He'll understand, right?

He seems like an understanding guy. However, I bite my bottom lip. I do want to see him those eyes never seem to leave my mind. I sigh, and my phone goes off. I look on the screen:

Zo 🚬

I scramble to pick up my phone, my hands shaking for some odd reason. I swipe the green:

"Zo!" I wonder if he could hear the smile on my face. His chuckles fill the speaker.

My stomach tingles a little.

"You sound so excited, but I told you I was gonna call you back Ox."

Zo tells me causing me to blush, but I can't help to think,
"You said yesterday, but you never called I was worried."

I hear him chuckle again, "Well if you were so worried why didn't you call me?"

I blush, did I say that out loud

"Yeah you did, but look we are still on for today if so I can come to pick you up?"

Here it is the moral of truth I hardly ever got out, so why would I suggest something so stupid?

Thinking back a few chapters earlier to my conversation with Yaki, to say the least, I'm ashamed. It's always been this way: one minute I want to start working on my phobia; but next, it's I don't wanna do this. I'm a coward.

"Just a little more Dean, I promise it'll feel good soon." 

Stop!

"Are you feeling it yet, ah I'm feeling you?"

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