Clear Lake

Chapter Eleven

I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling of my new room, thinking about my first day yesterday. The good. The bad. The last couple of weeks have been such a whirlwind. Before then, I was in complete control of my life. I thought I knew what my future would be, and I liked it. Now, I don't know what each day will bring. I feel like a drifting boat with no sails or anchor - just waiting to see what the weather and waves will do to me next.

Our mate will be our safety. My wolf reminds me.

After last night, my doubt seeps right back in.

"Well, what if he doesn't want me? What if he is cruel to me? Or worse, what if he doesn't like chocolate? You told me we could reject him, if we feel it's necessary." I tell her.

Our mate will be perfect for us. Our completion. She has complete confidence.

"But if he's not..."

I won't take the choice from you. We will do what we must.

I feel her absolute conviction in our mate. I've held this fear for so long, it's hard for me to just believe that he'll be perfect for me. Although now, what am I fighting this for? All of my plans have been snatched away from me. I thought he would cause that, not just life throwing me lemons.

I rub my face with my hands, and hear a knock on the door.

I jerk up to a sitting position. Who is knocking at my door so early? It's only...oh...9:30AM.

"Umm...who is it?" I ask, uncertainly.

"It's Kiara." I can hear the nervousness in her voice.

Kiara? Great. I must have done something wrong. There's no way she's here on a social visit.

I grumpily yank the covers off of me and walk to the door, dreading getting chewed out. I open it to see Kiara wearing jeans and a deep purple t-shirt, holding a variety of breakfast foods, some of them were the things we prepared last night. Oh man, what did I screw up? I look to Kiara's face and she's biting her lip, trying to hold in a grin? Her eyes are looking toward the ceiling. Uh oh.

"Do you normally answer your door with no pants or is this show just for me?" She asks, then giggles adorably.

At first, I'm a little embarrassed, but now that I see her genuinely laughing, I decide maybe this is exactly what we need to start a potential friendship. I'm already missing the banter between myself, Iris, and Kristy.

I put a hand on my hip and smile, "Well, if it helps to make up for whatever I must have messed up on that tray, then it's just for you, babe!" I laugh and give her an exaggerated wink.

"Can I come in?" She asks, tentatively.

"Of course." I say, and move out of the way. I think about putting on pants, but at this point, she's already seen it. And let's be honest, life is just better when you don't have to wear pants. I mean, it IS my room and I should be able to dress how I want. At least I'm wearing a respectable pair of cotton underwear and not totally see through underwear, like some of the ones Kristy got me.

She moves my little plant to the window sill and sets down her tray of food. We both sit down and grab something to eat.

"And to answer your earlier questions, nothing is wrong with what we made." She clarifies, through a mouthful of muffin.

Phew. That would be way more embarrassing for me than the no pants thing.

"I didn't see you at breakfast, so I figured you might want some, before it got totally eaten up." She shrugs.