For You • (Howl x Reader) ✔️

9- Y/N

I was practicing a new spell. That particular spell was harder than those I had learnt before. I wanted to learn a new spell each day but Howl didn’t let me. The spells were getting harder as I learned more, and some spells even took me a few days to master. I would try to get Howl to listen to me and let me practice during the nights as well so that I could learn them in a comparatively shorter span of time, maybe a day or two instead of sometimes four or sometimes five days. But howl would never let me practice after dark. He said I needed proper sleep and food in order to maintain my health and become better. According to him, “Just learning won’t do you any good, unless you take care of your mind and body.”

I would always groan and whine and complain but he wouldn’t let me. And then his voice would get deeper and he’d just say a simple “Y/N, I said go eat and sleep,” and I’d be inside. I never understood how or why that deep, commanding voice of his had an effect on me, but each time he spoke in his deep voice, I’d immediately oblige and do whatever he wanted me to do. I tried figuring out why his voice made me do anything he wanted and listen to everything he said, but to no avail. I tried not listening to that deep voice of his once, and that was the biggest mistake I had made in my life. I had seen a very dominant and intimidating side of Howl that day. Usually, howl would smile and be gentle and talk in a very soft voice, but that day when I didn’t listen to him and he found me arguing with him and not obeying what he had told me to do, I had met with a very different side of Howl. He hadn’t used magic, nor had he shouted at me, but instead there was a burning anger in his eyes. He hadn’t even yelled, but his voice had gotten even deeper and huskier. I could practically see the burning fire of anger in his usually soft, blue eyes, and when he spoke to me I felt shivers run down my spine. He had uttered only three words –“Y/N.GO.INSIDE”- and I was already intimidated and obliged to what he had told me to do. It wasn’t that I was scared, in fact it was quite the opposite, but somehow his voice always managed to affect me.

I was struggling a little with the spell that day. I tried to do it right but I knew it would require more practice and hard work. It was already evening and I still hadn’t managed to get the spell even one bit right. I remembered Howl telling me that this spell might take a few days to learn. Speaking of Howl, I remembered he hadn’t talked to me all day, except for a few things here and there. I turned around to go to him. I was kind of worried. Howl would talk to me all day, not too much though, but he always kept me good company. No wonder I was feeling lonely that day; Howl hadn’t talked to me.

I made my way towards the castle and saw Howl sitting close by at his usual spot, from where he’d talk to me all day and tell me what I was doing wrong or praise me when I did something good with my magic. But he had been unusually quiet that day. I approached him and spoke his name but he was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t even notice me standing there. He replied after a minute. I asked him if he was okay or not. He said he was, but I was still concerned. He kept zoning out when I talked to him, and he didn’t give me his usual smile nor did he talk as much. He just spoke a few words here and there. I tried to get him to talk but his mind was somewhere far off from me and my ranting. I even checked him for a fever but he seemed fine. He didn’t appear to be sick or anything, nor did he look tired. In fact if anyone who didn’t know him well enough wouldn’t even think that he wasn’t okay. Hi face appeared fine, he didn’t look tired or sick, but there was something else; something I couldn’t put my finger on. The fact that Howl was zoning out -and had zoned out all day, talking the least bit- alone was enough to tell me that something was wrong with him.

But he wouldn’t tell me what it was and just kept on insisting that he was fine. I mean of course he was fine, he looked fine, but there was something going on inside that wizard brain of his, which I of course I didn’t know since Howl wasn’t exactly an open person about lots of his thoughts. If I hadn’t asked him to teach me, we wouldn’t even have been friends. He had always seemed distant from me, but since the day he became my master, he started talking more with me and caring for me. That is how I had found the truth of Calcifer’s words.