Chlorine Induced Misadventures

I was there once, But now there is gone.

There was not much in the beginning. The large pancake, and The small pancake. This bored the audiences, however, and the writers decided to spice things up by killing off The small pancake in a horrific car accident. Critics pointed out continuity issues that cars would not have been invented yet, but neither were critics, so no one believed them either. This would go back and forth for a while, until the writers added a universe. This was generally considered the fall of the show, and most of the audience left after this.

How does this relate to me? Well, you'll see later, I guess. If you're reading this, I've won. What have I won? Well, you're not a very good reader, are you? Just wait, I'll tell you soon. Look, let's get started with the basics.

My name is Phillipe. It's pronounced, Fi-li-pay. If I had a nickel every time it was pronounced wrong, I'd... be able to afford a large fries or something. I have messy brown hair, and I love colourful clothes. I think I was wearing a lavender T-shirt, and blue denim jeans. I've been loved across the world for my lovable, childish personality, though it's also caused me most of my problems.

There are some other important people in this story, but everything started with me. Except for that pancake thing, that happened earlier. This is my story, and this is why squirrels are Earth's representative species.

--

It started like any other day. I woke at exactly 7:37AM, as I should. It was a beautiful day outside, the birds were singing, the flowers blooming. The morning sun shined radiantly through my window, illuminating my colourfully decorated room. Mother dearest adored the fact I had never quite grown out of my 'colourful child phase', as she described it, while my Father berated me for never truly becoming an adult.

The kitchen was equally as vibrant, with hues of red and blue practically popping out of the walls they're contained in. The elegantly decorated kettle was boiling, and it's shrill screech pierced my ears. Which was strange, because I wasn't the one who turned it on. Ah, there they were.

It was Large Pancake, who was as depressed as ever. They never quite got over the whole 'Small Pancake car accident thing', and had spent their days roaming the lands, mourning over the fallen pancake. It was roughly my height, which was quite tall for a pancake, and wore a midnight blue suit over a white collared shirt and black necktie.It must've been a really long necktie, now that I think about it.

I sat down next to him, and asked a question.

"So... What was he like?" I hesitated at the beginning, not sure if this was the most appropriate question.

"Who? Small Pancake?" Large Pancake met my gaze.

"Yeah, him." I got up, and began to pour us mugs of tea. "I wasn't really around back then, when... y'know."

"It's fine, kid. I suppose it don't hurt to tell you, anyway." Large Pancake grabbed his mug, and looked out the window, wistfully. "He was... a bright soul. Of course, there were only two of us at the time, so it's not like there were many options for personality anyway. I remember we'd wander around that ol' empty void, and we'd just talk to one another. And you know what, kid? It was perfect. But then of course, the writers got sick of us talking, and decided to, I don't know, spice things up. Small Pancake died, and the rest is history as you know it."

"Ah." I couldn't exactly formulate a response. I mean, what was I meant to respond with? Large Pancake basically implied that Small Pancakes death began the universe as we know it. "That's... Quite the tale."

"I don't expect you to get it, kid." Large Pancake sipped from their mug. "It was from a while ago, anyway. By the way, there's someone at the door."