The Eggplant Fic ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The Eggplant Fic

One day, Ryan was feeling especially hungry. But he wasn't hungry for anything food could satisfy the desire of. Well, in a way he was, but not how you would think. He casually walks up to his lover, Brendon, frantically struggling to piece together the words to tell him what he needed without sounding insane. "Uh, Brendon, do you think you could do something for me?" Ryan was desperate for an answer. "Yeah love, what do you need? Oh, I see the look in your eyes. I know exactly what you want." Could he possibly know what Ryan wanted, or he would even go as far as to say, needed? "Yes babe, something like that. But I was thinking, would you be open to new egg-speriences? I think a new way to plant your seed in my soil is needed, if you catch my drift." Oh god, would Brendon understand how much he was craving it? "What do you mean, dearest? Do you wanna try something new?" Oh, here goes nothing. "I want you to do me...", he took a deep breath, "...with an eggplant." Ryan felt the blush rising to his cheeks immediately. "A-an eggplant? Well, if your anus is open to it, so am I. Anything to please you, darling." As the couple made their way to the bedroom, along with the eggplant that was joining the festivities, Ryan began to worry about what could go wrong. But by the time they reached the bedroom door, he knew there was no going back. Brendon slipped off his clothes, and Ryan soon followed, leaving them both completely nude. "Hey Ryan, shouldn't we have a safe word or something?" Oh, right. Ryan had nearly forgotten about any safety measures. His lust for the vegetable had grown so strong it had consumed every one of his thoughts. "How about, 'milk'?" Ryan wasn't quite sure why he picked that, but it was the first word to come to mind. "Alright, milk it is." Ryan lays himself face down on the mattress, ready to be penetrated by his all time favorite food. "I wasn't able to find the lube, would ranch dressing be okay?" And Ryan knew he had lost his mind when he nodded eagerly in agreement. He was itching with anticipation while watching as Brendon slicked up the eggplant with ranch dressing. At last, he felt the rounded top of the eggplant pushing at his entrance. Ryan let out a low moan as he felt it slowly push into his hole. "Yes, faster!" he cried, as Brendon prepared for a second thrust. This time, he pushed it in deeper. "Oh, more! Deeper baby, deeper!" But despite his begging for it, was this really what he wanted? As his partner pushed the vegetable farther in, he felt as though something wasn't right. Suddenly, he felt pain wash over him as the eggplant went in even deeper. Finally, he worked up the courage to say what he meant to say as soon as it had pushed the limits. "Milk, milk!" Brendon immediately tries to pull the object out of his boyfriend's rear, but the eggplant was too far gone. "Ryan, I think we should go to the hospital." Ryan winced as he nodded in agreement. "But wait, how are we gonna explain this to the hospital staff?" His partner tried to hold in his laughter as he said, "I guess we're gonna have to find out, sugar."