¹ 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄 ━━ 𝘣𝘣𝘤 𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘯

𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘲𝘶𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴

a collection of incorrect quotes
originally found on tumblr and
elsewhere just for kicks.

Aurora: Sometimes I like to call people by the wrong name to let them know I don't care about them.
Agravaine: That's brilliant.
Aurora: Thanks, Novocaine.

Aurora: You call it a near-death experience, I call it a vibe check from God.
Arthur: *eye twitches*

Aurora: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Francis: I'm a knife.
Gwen, from across the room: He's the little spoon.

Aurora: I don't think Arthur is very happy with you.
Merlin: Why do you say that?
Aurora, reading aloud: "Dear Merlin, I hope this letter finds you before I do."

Aurora: I slept for almost twelve hours but I might still be tired, so let's go for twelve more just in case.
Arthur: My love, that's a coma.
Aurora: Sounds festive.

Merlin: Don't worry, I know exactly what I'm doing. Everything is going to be fine!
Aurora: How can you still say that?
Merlin: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Aurora, holding a bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?
Francis, chugging the entire bottle: It's perfume.

Arthur: Help! I told Aurora I'd cook dinner tonight, but I can't cook!
Francis, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Aurora: Oh, look. Satan's here.
Maleficent: Actually, I prefer to be called ruler of all that is evil, but I will answer to Satan.

Merlin: Do you take constructive criticism?
Arthur: I only take cash or credit.

Aurora: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?
Merlin: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak?

Diane: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.
Francis: No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have used my one phone call to prank call the police.

Arthur: Can you please be serious for five minutes?
Aurora: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

*2000 years into the future*
Arthur: What's up, guys? I'm back.
Merlin: What the— You can't be here. You're dead. I literally saw you die.
Arthur: Death is a social construct.

*Arthur and Merlin sitting in jail together*
Merlin: So, who should we call?
Arthur: I'd call Aurora, but I feel safer in jail.

*At Arthur and Aurora's wedding*
Merlin: If anyone here has a reason as to why these two shouldn't get married, keep your mouth shut and get the hell out.

Arthur: You're right.
Merlin: That's... an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

Morgana: Why are you looking at me through a fork?
Aurora: I'm pretending that you're in jail.
Morgana: Why?
Aurora: It's spiritually healing.

Merlin: This is a mistake.
Francis, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day.
Gaius: But not today.
Francis, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess.

Aurora: What's for dinner?
Arthur, staring at the food he just burnt: Regret.

Francis: What do IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?
Gwen: I don't know, I love you, and talk to you later.
Francis: Okay, I love you too. I'll just ask Merlin.

Aurora: Arthur and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each others—
Arthur: Sentences.
Aurora: Don't interrupt me.

Dmitri: Why do you fight what you feel in your heart?
Aurora: Because if I did what I felt in my heart, they'd never find your body.

Francis: Look, Aurora, I like Arthur. That's all that matters.
Aurora: Don't you mean if I like him, that's all that matters?
Francis, thinking about it: No.

*The squad is having dinner together*
Merlin: Francis, can you pass the salt?
Francis: *throws Aurora across the table*

Aurora: When I was born, God said "oh she's too perfect for this world."
Francis: Oh please. You were born and Satan said "ah, finally, competition."

Aurora: We can drink our drinks but we can't food our food.
Morgana: I hate that you have a point.

Arthur: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?
Francis, glancing down at Aurora: Quite short.

Francis: Who thinks I can fit fifteen marshmallows into my mouth?
Gaius: You're a hazard to society.
Merlin: And a coward. Do twenty.

Philip to Aurora: I think I could make you very happy.
Arthur: Why? Are you leaving?

Francis: I was arrested for being too cool.
Gwen: The charges were dropped due to lack of supporting evidence.

Arthur: Welcome, fellow idiots.
Aurora: Hello, Arthur.
Arthur: No, no, not you. You're not an idiot.
Aurora: You underestimate me.

Francis: Change is inedible.
Merlin: Don't you mean inevitable?
Francis, spitting out coins: No, I did not.