❝ Ellis slipped from the room and his mother's dead body. ❞
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This short story is a dive into the underbelly of grief, explored through the perspective of an uprooted boy in his early twenties. When his distress goes unseen by anyone within reach...
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FOUR cold
Four.
Ellis pulled into his parking spot, the headlights running over the brown stucco walls and dark windows of his apartment complex. He grabbed the bag from the passenger seat and the untouched coffee from the cup holder, folding the white paper under his forearm and slamming his car door. His footsteps echoed from the sidewalk up against the side of the building, accompanied by the single sharp and harping beep of his car locking. Ellis's phone chose then to vibrate stopping him momentarily in his tracks. It was from Ani.
Miss youu texting so I call
Liking the message, he began trudging up the stairs, the steps a grey blur of concrete beneath him, his shadow harsh in the stark overhead lights.
He slid the key into the lock and pushed his door open, immediately greeted by simulated cheers. Terrence was playing Fifa again while Nick and his girlfriend, Chiara, sat at the kitchen bar eating cereal.
"Hey." The timbre of Terrance's greeting rose above the game. Ellis relayed the greeting and closed the door, walking around the beat-up pleather couch. Terrence sat hunched over with his elbows on his knees, fingers poised over his black controller. When Ellis plopped down beside him, Terrance sent him a haphazard glance before reverting back to the screen.
"You go out?" Ellis watched the animated ball get kicked across the screen.
"Nah, not today." Then he reached for his phone. There were a couple of older notifications, newspaper headlines and something from his aunt, but nothing beyond that. He supposed he should feel something about that. Yet he didn't really feel much at all. Well, besides a subtle chill sinking into his bones.
"That Ellis?" He turned his head to the side and glanced behind the couch.
"Hey." Chiara's dark brown hair was in some type of sloppy bun, and she'd thrown on a sweatshirt he recognized from the laundry as Nick's.
"I didn't even see you come in." Her movements were a bit exaggerated, enough to let him know she was still tipsy but too controlled for her to be drunk. Ellis forced a smile and a shrug, quickly diverting the conversation back to her.
"What did you guys do tonight?" Chiara had tucked back into her cereal, eyebrows raising in acknowledgment of his statement. "Me and Nick," She tipped her head in his direction. "Drank with a couple of people at my friend Tara's." Ellis let out a noise of understanding. Chiara motioned in his direction. "You remember her, from—"
"Like two weeks ago, right? Terrence's birthday pre-game." He was pretty sure he'd been invited because it was at their apartment.
She nodded. "I was going to ask you to come but Nick hadn't seen you all day." Ellis nodded, eyes falling for a moment.
"Sorry, I had" He took a split second to find the right phrasing. He couldn't tell if she was bullshitting him or being genuine.
"a lot going on today." Chiara dipped her head in understanding though as to what type, Ellis had no clue. No one in this room really knew what was going on with his mom. Ellis didn't need them to either. It was unnecessary and the very thought of their pity felt invasive.
They were nice, sure, but he wouldn't be more than acquaintances with them in other circumstances. Nick did apologize when he broke some of Ellis's kitchenware, but he never really offered to pay for the damages. Chiara was fine, but she seemed to make empty promises and bail late on plans. Then there was Terrance, who had a tendency to flirt with girls by somewhat harshly making fun of his friends. Plus, he lied to his parents about the cost of rent to buy weed— something he'd told Ellis with what seemed almost like pride. They weren't awful, as far as awful went, but they didn't make Ellis miss his friends any less.
"You didn't miss anything." Chiara leant back to glance at her boyfriend who seemed asleep against the countertop, his head in his folded arms. "Nick died tonight and Terrance and I had to cart him back." Ellis noticed how his hand gripped into his knee just then, a subtle full body shiver running through him. Out of nowhere a longing for warm company bloomed.
The sudden and cruel bite of loneliness was overwhelming. As stupid as it sounded, he wanted a hug, even if it was just in words.
"Do you guys wanna do something tonight?" Ellis watched more than felt himself blurt it out. It bursted into the air like an overstuffed balloon, followed by the cool settling of silence into the apartment's common area. He was reminded of snowfall, dark barren trees, and winter nights, where the lack of sound seemed more abrasive than the noise of the living.
"It's like two am, dude." His flippant voice traveled sideways, but Terrance's eyes stayed glued to the screen. His fingers never ceasing their dance across the controller, whether in true or feigned obliviousness to the abnormality of Ellis's request.
