Nanay

Nanay - A Short Story

Nanay

Written by Jean A. Evangelista

It was back in 2010, when my parents got hired for a job in America. A caregiver job for my mom and my dad who was tagged along and would find any job once they got there. I am an only boy child and having my parents gone for 10 years was very difficult for me to accept.

Everything was arranged. I would stay in my Grandma's compound, where almost half of my mother's clan lives. I would still stay at my Private Catholic School. The only reason that they would go was for money. Everything my parents did, was for me to survive here in the Philippines. The night before their flight, I sneaked into my parents' suitcase, threw the other clothes so I could fit in. And when they were asking me to have our last dinner, they found out that I was missing. Mom was so worried that I might have run away due to the situation. But then my dad saw the messy clothes on the floor and figured out that I was inside the suitcase. Dad called mom and immediately opened the bag.

What are you thinking, Iho?

I was begging them to put me in their suitcase so I could go with them. And they dragged me out of the suitcase, I pushed them and cried so hard. They hugged me so tight and felt that I didn't want them to go. Life was so unfair.

Sorry nak, I promise that we would send quality chocolates, clothes and toys that you want, Dad said.

But deep inside I didn't want those things, I wanted them to stay and to be a happy family. It's what every child dream right? So, when we were at NAIA, it was a bright day ahead for my parents, a rainy day for me when they left. I was dropped off at my Grandma's compound after. The compound was almost a hectare long inside a street in Sgt. Bernardo. It had a small gate before you could get in. Everyone knew everyone because of the small community they had in that street. It was near Pasig River where most of the children play and where my uncles and aunties used to gamble. To say, the whole street was like a squatter's area with tons of garbage in the street in the morning and smelled like alcohol in the evening. I did not know why my parents left me here, but I knew that stepping inside this old two-floored bahay na bato, my life was going to change.

My grandma, or we called as Nanay was 68 years old that time. She looked like Mama Coco, from the Disney Coco movie, short colored brown hair, dry skin, and has these many lines on her face. She can still cook, walk around, gossip with her fellow kumpare and kumare, play with her grandkids, and still can welcome me with a smile. I only met my grandma once or twice, and I was too young to even remember what she looked like before. We were introverts as a family, we don't like to get into reunions, and we would just stay home watch a rented movie from VideoCity. This is why it's very new to me to have many people around me. But Nanay was very nice to me, she cooked me Pancit when I arrived and calmed me down when I was crying. From the first week that I stayed there, my cousins were so curious about me. Unlike any young boy, I loved reading than to have a fist to fist fight outside the compound. Reading would take me to a place I've never been before. It was not a boyish thing to do, they say. So, when my uncle came home drunk from the riverside, he picked me up from reading and punched me in the face. Everyone was alarmed by this.

Fight me like a man, Uncle Nini said.

And I was punched again to see if I would fight him. But I was already in pain, I could feel my head bleeding inside. Luckily, my aunties and other uncles woke up and stopped Uncle Nini. Nanay was so furious of what happened and rather to scold, she said wise words that made a sense into his drunk mind. Immediately, I was taken care by Nanay and by my Auntie Theresa to see if I had any wound or bruises. When they took off my shirt, I had a huge bruise near my chest. They put some oil or something that they used in the old time to heal and left me to rest. My parents called and found out what happened. They were so worried and deep inside I wanted to blame them for leaving me here. But I didn't say anything.

2 days, I didn't come to school because of the pain I felt. And when I was ready to go back to school, early in the morning, I was about to go downstairs from my room when I heard someone frying a food, it was Nanay, smiling at me when she saw me and said,

Good morning apo! You should get ready for your school.

When I was about to take over the kitchen, she insisted that I take a bath because I was almost late to my morning class. I took a quick shower, dressed up in my uniform and as I leave the door, Nanay stopped me. She wouldn't let me go because I haven't eaten any breakfast yet. This is the only thing that Nanay gets mad of, to not take care of oneself.

Days after, this became Nanay's hobby, to smile at me in the morning and when I get home from school, I'll bring her home some Pancit. One time, Nanay asked me of what I was reading.

Le Petit Prince, French apo?

"No, nanay. It's the Little prince in English" I said. I think she was curious of what I was reading. She asked me to read it in front of her and she was really listening to the story of how the little prince travels from one planet to another. Maybe this is the best part of the day for me, when she tucks me in my bed, and we'll tell stories about a book or about her life. Hearing her voice, smiling at countless stories, truly Nanay is an angel from above. We spent our time together and she was the first one to push me to become a writer. And I promised her that I would tell our stories to the world one day.

Years have passed, and as I grew older, I connected with my cousins and other school friends. I rarely had time for my grandma. We didn't tell stories anymore, we didn't have merienda aymore. I always came home late influenced with alcohol from the street.

A regretful night when I came home drunk and she scolded me for the first time in my life.

You are being too reckless iho!

"And so? This is my life!"

I am just worried my dear.

"You should worry about the gossip of your kumadre saying I'm nothing because I'm being babied by you. And you know, I shouldn't be here, I wish I was in America with my parents than be with you" I unknowingly said. When I woke up in the morning, I heard the news of my parents flying home to stay here in Manila. I was still sober to understand but I felt like I did something that I never should have done. Nanay and I became distant after that night. And so, when my parents came home, I left without saying goodbye to my grandma, I never came back.

October 24, 2016, 2 years since I left the compound, I received a call from Auntie Theresa,

Si nanay...

"Who's this?" I said.

Si nanay, wala na.

I hanged up the phone, easily broke down into tears and all those memories came flashing into my eyes. Those breakfast with pandesal, the pancit as merienda, the mango ice cream when we have something to celebrate, the stories and books we shared to each other and mostly her smile that made me feel safe, made me feel so loved and happy. But all of those moments were gone as I received that phone call. I hated myself that much because I didn't had the time to say goodbye, and the time I had now was in the morgue. Where her body was covered in sheets. The doctor said she died in her sleep and waiting for one person, waiting for a one last story.

"Nay, I am here now please wake up" I said. "I'll tell you another story, let's have another merienda... Nay please don't leave me I'm sorry, I'm really sorry" as I hugged her for the last time in the morgue. I couldn't let her go. All I can say was "I love you". Even if she couldn't hear it anymore, even if I was too late. I have so many regrets but there's nothing I can do now but to cry and to write our story. And as I look at her in the casket, I realized, To say goodbye is one of the painful things in life. I hope you'll forgive me someday nay, and I'll keep our promise of telling our stories to the world. That promise starts today. As I say goodbye to you, let me quote Ed Sheeran's song, Supermarket Flowers:

So I'll sing Hallelujah
You were an angel in the shape of my grandma
When I fell down you'd be there holdin' me up
Spread your wings as you go
And when God takes you back
He'll say, "Hallelujah, you're home"

November 2, 2020