A ghost story

I recall it being a dark and cold evening when I was visiting her grave, for the first time in forever. The thought of her being gone and out of my reach made me shatter into a million pieces and at that time I didn't know what I should do anymore. Nothing helped, I couldn't get her out of my head and it hurt so much to think about the time she was still with me.

I wanted to leave as abruptly as I had come there but I just couldn't bring myself to do so. And the longer I sat there, the stronger I felt her presence. It felt like she was watching me, which I knew was impossible. I decided that it was finally time I left but almost instantly I saw her in front of me.

I thought I was dreaming or something of the sort, but it felt so real and so out of this world at the same time. Then it hit me, I must've been hallucinating, that seemed the most reasonable explanation. I decided to just go home and forget what had happened. I didn't believe in ghosts and I still don't, but that experience has never left my mind to this day.

She was all I had left, I didn't have anyone and I still don't. No one could ever replace the love of my life, the one person who got me through all the tough times I had. She was the only person in the whole world that could make me smile without any effort.

My life had been flipped upside down right at the moment she left me and I’ve regretted breathing since then. The fact that I saw something so remarkably similar to her after such a long time just broke me into more pieces than I had already been. Some say “they go to a better place and leave the pain and hurt behind” but what about the ones that are left behind? What about me, what about her family, does no-one care about our pain? One of the most important people in my- OUR lives left us and you just want us to forgive and forget?! No way.. I can not forgive or forget, never will I be able to fill the void of emptiness in my heart and soul.

Gone is the only light guiding me through this dark limbo we call life. I’ve become void of emotion, I just can’t feel anything anymore. My soul has become paralyzed and there’s nothing I can do to bring myself to feel again. Nothing brings joy, nothing brings sadness, nothing makes me angry, nothing even hurts.. at least if we’re talking about physical pain. Inside my heart is grumbling into small fragments of a being of flesh and bones that once upon a time felt alive, but is now only a shallow corpse walking mindlessly without anything worth achieving.

A form of a broken man, never to be put together, always to be alone. It’s a blessing and a curse to be immortal, you get to see your loved ones grow up and can be by their side, but once they leave you.. you’ll never be the same. I guess I must have deserved this somehow, I should have seen it coming ages ago.

Author's note: I feel like this makes almost no sense at all, but I hope you enjoy reading it anyway.