Step Siblings

The Beginning

I watched him at of the corner of my eye constantly. I could close my eyes and explain his face perfectly down to the last little blemish. I couldn't help it, he haunted me. I wanted nothing more than to run my hands through his disgusting oily hair. His perfect pale skin looked like it hadn't been bathed in weeks, and wanted nothing more than to become filthy from his touch. I thought about these things every second of every day. I couldn't escape them, I couldn't escape him. I couldn't escape because the only thing separating us at night was a thin wall. He was my step-brother. He was my step-brother who treated me like a younger sister.

He was two and a half years older than me. His mother married my dad when I was 14. I remember the first time I met him. In the process of forcing our family together we all went out to see a movie. I dreaded it all the way to the movie theater.

"Honey, I really appreciate you doing this for me" My dad said as we drove along in silence.

"It's just a movie dad, its not a big deal."

It had only been six months since my mother had died and I had no clue that my dad would be serious about dating another woman. Boy was I wrong.

"Well I know, but it still means a lot."

"Don't mention it dad." I said with a half smile.

"Its just you and me now, we have to make it work. It sucks but we have to make it work."

"I know." I mumbled.

The last thing I wanted to think about was my mom. Especially since my father is about to go on a date with another woman. I was furious at him, but I couldn't let him know that. He had enough on him.

We pulled up into the parking lot at the movie theater where my mom and I spent a lot of our Sunday nights. We parked next to an old beaten up ford pick up. Moments later a tall woman with blonde hair came around the side of the truck. She was younger than my dad, but not by much. The lines on her face told me about what kind of life she had lead. She was pretty, but nothing special. She ran over to my dad and hugged him, without acknowledging me. I stared at the beaten up bumper of the old red truck. I then saw the passenger door fling open, and there he was. I had never seen a guy so beautiful. I would have never even of thought to use beautiful to describe a guy until him. He stood about 6 feet tall. He was almost 16 years old, I was a half a year away from being 14. The whole world stopped as I watched him gracefully move over to where I was standing. I felt my body tremble with every foot step he made. I was in love, in that second, 13 years old I was in love with a boy I knew nothing about. I didn't even know his name. Names and age don't matter when it comes to love I think. You just know.

"Marissa this is my daughter Scarlett" my dad said snapping me back to reality.

"Hello there! You're dad has told me so much about you." She said as she put her hand on my shoulder.

Isn't that what they all say? I thought to myself.

I smiled back and said hello wanting the awkward conversation to be over with.

"This is my son Jonathan." She said giving my eyes permission to glance at him again.

He didn't speak, he only half smiled and threw his hand up to show us that he acknowledged we were there.

"Nice to finally meet you Jonathan." My dad said. "We should get in were going to miss all the good seats"

I knew where I wanted to sit, I wanted to sit in the very back with Jonathan, and I wanted my dad and Marissa to sit in another country.

I followed behind slowly into the doors of the theater, we stoped at concessions to get popcorn and candy, normally I would have been thrilled about the movie theater food, but suddenly I had no desire to eat. I told my dad I didn't want anything, but he got me junior mints anyways.

We took seats in the middle row of the theater. Marissa at at the end of the row, my dad next to her, I sat next to him and Johnathan took the seat next to me. I was pretty sure everyone in the theater could hear my heart beating.

I don't even remember what movie we saw, how long it was, or even what genera. I watched him instead out of the corner of my eye. I watched him fidget with the end of his shirt and tap his foot. He looked uncomfortable, but some how that calmed me. I wanted to grab his hand and hold it, I wanted to make him comfortable. I knew nothing was going to happen, but when we walked out of the theater I was disappointed. I would have been okay with his hand just accidentally touching mine.

We all stood out in the parking lot to say our goodbye, and as I went to get in the car my dad stopped me.

"Um Scarlett honey, I..um.. We have something to tell you." My dad went over and stood next to Marissa.

"You too Johnny." Marrisa said motioning Johnathan over to where I was standing. He looked as confused as I did.

"Well I know this seems kind of out of the blue, but I love Marissa very very much and I asked her to marry me." He said squeezing her hand.

It was silent for what seemed like years. I refused to make eye contact with my dad or anyone for that matter. I just stared at the pavement watching a group of ants try to pick up an old cigarette butt. "Scarlett did you hear me?" My dad asked walking over to me.

I just nodded, not taking my eyes off the ants.

"Well?" He put his hand on my shoulder.

"That's nice dad."

"That's nice? Scarlett did you understand what I said?" My dad squatted down in the attempt to make eye contact with me.

"Yes." I felt my eyes beginning to swell with tears.

"Marisa said yes Scarlett." He tried to push the hair out of my face but I turned away from him.

Suddenly the sound of the old truck door being slammed shut echoed through the parking lot. I looked up to find Jonathan in the passenger seat putting out a match he had used to light one of his mother's cigarettes.

"Johnny! What did I tell you about smoking?" His mother yelled tapping on his rolled up window.

He said nothing, he didn't even look at her. He just continued to smoke staring straight ahead.

Six months later they moved in with us. My dad and I cleaned out my mom's old art studio to make room for Johnathan. It had been like a shrine before that night. Everything where she had left it, her last painting on the easel unfinished. I stared at it for a while, an outline of a girl in the middle of a field full of flowers that reached towards the sky. It was beautiful, or at least it had the potential to be beautiful.

"She was amazing wasn't she?" My dad said as he looked at the painting with me.

"The best." I said feeling the tears rolling down my cheek.

My dad reached for a hug and I found myself sobbing into his chest.

"Its not fair dad, Its not fair." I said in between my gaps for air.

"I know honey." He said trying not to cry, but failing.

We stayed in that room for hours talking about mom. We laughed, and we cried but most of all we kept her alive.

"Scar, I just want you to know that even though I'm with Marissa now, I will always love your Mom." He said as he closed the door of mom's now empty art studio.

"I know." I said trying to sound reassuring.

"This may sound horrible, but you know that saying If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with?"

I nodded.

"Well that is kind of my life now its hard to explain Scar, but I think this will be good for us."

"I trust you dad." I said giving him one last hug before bed.

"I love you Scar."