Oneshots!

#87 Babies.

TSoL AU wholesome story.

"Okay everyone, today we will be focusing on childcare development. You all will be assigned fake infants to take care of for one week. We will be alerted every time a need for the baby is not met, this will be triggered when the child cries for ten seconds and over; your goal is to prevent that from happening and keeping the child calm. As incentive to take this assignment seriously, when we are officially alerted, three points will be removed from your grade for every time. Now another thing to remember, these may all be fake, however they are enchanted with magic to give them more than just the generic responses. They will form their own personalities that you will have to learn and will have their own quirks and ways to calm them down. Thus also preventing cheating, so don't even try. Come pick up your baby at the desk and hold your finger to their chest for five seconds. This will activate them and register them as yours through your finger print. Good luck everyone."

The teacher didn't react as the entire classroom groaned. Apparently no one was happy about the assignment. Well, other than Diane who was super pumped up about this since she was for some reason now obsessed with kids. She had the shockingly unpopular opinion of finding children absolutely adorable.

Everyone got in line to get their baby while Meliodas eventually got his own after standing in the back for ten minutes.

It was a doll, but looked hyper realistic and even had some features of its own. Like blue eyes and a tuff of white hair.

He did his best to hold it properly and felt his heartbeat speed up from nervousness. He had absolutely no idea how to take care of a baby. He was the baby himself of the siblings, and his father wasn't exactly a great role model.

How was he supposed to take care of this small, fragile, thing for a whole week?

He was called over by his friends all observing their own children, and was incredibly shocked to hear Diane's talk. Looked like they were apparently more toddler aged than infant.

"I'm hungwy!"

"Me too little one. Let's go get some food! What do babies eat again? Eh, I'm sure we'll find something! Let's go get some classic mall food and go shopping!"

She left after putting on some little stylish sunglasses on the baby while the others still tried to figure their's out as well.

"I-I really don't understand this. Fairies aren't really born like humans, we're made from a special kind of magic pollen and are incubated in flowers. I mean, sure depending on our birth marks we're given to different families- but still! Raising a fairy is still a lot different from this! There's flying involved! Why don't they have any fairy doll baby things!?"

The tot giggled at Harlequin's frustration before putting it's tiny hand on the fairy's face while Elaine made a little 'awe' remark at it.

"H-How are you so calm Elaine!? This is incredibly backwards from fairies!"

"Well I think they are cute, brother. Besides, mine seems to be happy sleeping right now. They look so precious!"

Everyone awed and cooed at their own kids while they adjusted. All noticing that Ban wasn't, but the child was just sitting there.

"What's wrong with your baby? All of ours have demanded something at least once, why's yours so quiet?"

"Hehe... I taught him a trick, look guys. Go on little bean, say it."

"S-Shool sucks!"

"Oh my gosh Ban! We're supposed to be teaching them how to behave! Not say school sucks! THEY are the school project!"

"Yeah but there really isn't much to teach em. He's pretty chill otherwise."

"What about you Meli? How's yours doing?"

"D-Distruction!"

"What!?"

Meliodas exclaimed the word in shock over what the tiny tot just said.

"A-Anarchy! Deatf!"

"I-I swear I'm not teaching it this! Stop mini person! Bad!"

"Eeeeeevvvviiiiilllll!!!!!!"

The baby raised its fists as it proclaimed the word to the world. All the while a little determined look was on its face.

"I-I thought these things were just dolls!?"

"Well rhe teacher said they develop personalities. Hehe... y-you just got really bad luck."

Ban was howling in laughter while the others continued to giggle when the child didn't stop.

"I love that kid Mel!"

"W-Well I don't! How do I get it to stop."

"Dear father, together we shall take over this mortal realm and seize control of its inhabitants! Now give me the souls of my enemies and the nuggets of chicken I desire before our conquest begins!"

"What the hell, why is he talking like that!"

No one was any help at all as that just set off the laughter again.

"Guys help me out here! What the f is wrong with this child!"

"Fear me!"

"No! Bad baby!"

It hissed once getting sprayed with a bottle by its "father" that was normally used to water the plants.

"You shall pay for your insubordination!"

"You shouldn't even know big words like that yet!"

"I know all mortal. I have seen the colors of the winds and the fates of the times. I have learned death and what brings it. I. Know. Everything- HISSSSS!"

He got sprayed again and protested greatly.

"What the fuck is this child on! Pfffttt-"

"T-This isn't funny Ban! Help me out!"

"Do not ask for help from this lowly human! Fetch me the nuggets of chicken this instant and I SHALL BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND!"

"H-How about I get you chicken nuggets and you don't burn the place to the ground. How does that sound."

".... This is adequate."

Meliosas sighed in relief to that.

Okay, well that's a start. This is going to be a looooong week.

I don't even know why I wrote this, but I find it hilarious. XD

1004 words.