Only in my dreams - a collection of short stories

Lonely but your comfort character makes everything better

I sat on my bed for about an hour after dinner watching tiktoks on my computer before I felt like I finally had enough and dumb short videos wasn't curing this feeling of loneliness. My best friend was away on a trip, and this was the first time going to school without her since we became friends. I had more friends at school besides her, but those friendships don't seem as genuine. All day I felt empty inside. After all, my soulmate was on the other side of the country. 

I set down my computer next to me, closed my eyes, and let out a deep sigh of sadness. Why can't I just shift into fictional worlds like Marvel so I can hug all my Avenger friends and teammates, or even better-

I opened my eyes at the sound of a light knock at my door. He came in my room like he usually does at perfect timing, but this time I invited him over. Except this time I sort of forgot he was coming. Still, I was so happy he came. 

A smile spread across my face. "Hey! You're here," I said getting up and hugging him so much harder than normal. 

"Hey cutie," he hugged me back, but was a little surprised at just how hard I hugged him, then returned the energy. "You okay?" 

"Yeah, just kinda lonely. My best friend is away for the next few days and this was only the first day and I'm already a mess. I think there's a chance I have separation anxiety, although I don't know much about it," I explained while my face was pressed against his chest and soft sweatshirt.

"What makes you think that?" he asked. 

"Well, all day I've felt so nervous and alone even when I was surrounded by people, much more than I have in a very long time. I was anxious and like I had to watch my every step because I was on my own and had to control myself because I wasn't completely comfortable around anyone, at least not in the way I'm comfortable with her... Ugh this is so dumb! She's literally just on a trip right now and I'm a disaster and- how am I supposed to go to a different college than her when I can hardly last a whole day?!" I now buried my face into his shirt as he held me tighter. 

"This isn't dumb, it may seem overdramatic to some but your feelings are valid. You have a right to feel this way especially since this is your first school day without her since you've become so close, right?" he comforted me. I nodded. "See, it makes sense. Plus you're a very compassionate, empathetic friend so of course without soaking up her emotions too it can be a little tricky to deal with being in a crowd alone." 

I removed my face from his shirt and looked up at his face. "Thank you," I said. He held my face in his hands now. 

"Of course. And remember you always have me," he said. My slight smile dropped. 

"No..." tears started to form again. "No I don't. Because you're only real in my imagination. You're just as real as any other fictional character, I don't actually have you."

"Y/n, stop that. I'm in your imagination and that's good enough. You are a wild dreamer, I can be as real as your mind allows."

I looked at him, his eyes, his hair, his facial structure. He was perfect in every way, and he was right. As long as I imagined he was real, he was real to me. 

"Nevermind, I don't want to talk about that truth of reality. For now... just.. hold me?" I asked still hanging onto him, and his hands still holding my face. 

"Of course, princess," he said holding my hand and leading me to my bed where we both sat down, but more of me in his lap so that he was holding me in his arms and with his body. My head on his strong shoulder and chest. 

He was right in that when I imagined myself with him, it felt like I wasn't actually alone typing on my computer in a dark room when I'm supposed to be sleeping because I have school tomorrow. No, here in my imagination I was safe, warm, loved, held, protected, and the least lonely. 

"I love you, and I'm so proud of you," he said to me looking down at my face wiping a tear from my face I didn't realize was there. "And by the way, you're really adorable. And gorgeous. And I'm so happy you're mine." 

I smiled back up at him. "I love you, my dream boy."