Between Love and Admiration

Nick

NICK

Nick, there's so much I want to say to you. First, you taught me a lot even before we were even friends. From the double date from hell to what it means to be a friend, you also taught me not to feel guilty when you walk away from someone that doesn't appreciate you. I'm sorry that I became that person for you. But I hope that what we had was more good than bad. Even if just a little. Before I met you, I swore I knew you. Without ever seeing your face but over this semester you showed me just how wrong I can be. That was something I didn't know I needed to learn but I did. I thought you'd like to know that I made peace about Alana and my mom. You asked me where my family was and I never really told you but you still pieced it together. My mom abandoned us when I was young and I don't know why but Alana reminded me of her... the need to have her approval, her love was something that I just gave into and because of you, I think I can finally put that desperation behind me. I wish I'd realized it sooner because I now know that you were the best thing that happened to me since I got to Central and because of all those lessons... I'm glad that we met! I really hope you don't get a big head after reading all that because I will deny it... but I just needed to tell you thank you.

Now go enjoy your fresh start! Mine won't be so fresh because I'm stuck here at Central for another 3 years but I feel better about it than ever before and I'm going to enjoy it as much as I can. So don't worry about me, I will be okay.

Love Always,

Smidget

After reading the letter I grabbed my, sititng on my truck bed and just looked out into the river, "I had to fall for the craziest girl in this city." Smirking to myself and turning up the rest of the beer, I thought back to that day in the cafeteria when I first saw her.

She was little, barely tall enough to go to this school but she was tough. I could tell by the look in her face as she walked from one side of the café to the other... she looked like she was determined but overwhelmed. She started to look around for someone when she turned her head towards the table I sit. As she picked up her pace again, getting closer to my table with every step. I was able to make out a little of her features, she had a soft delicate face before she turned to sit down. I lost her for a moment before I realized she was in all places, my spot, talking to my cousin Xay. She must be his new girlfriend, I thought when the lunch lady waved her hand for me to come on, looking around I had paused the line because of her. As I picked up the pace, I checked my phone seeing two messages from both Alana and Jessica. Not surprising, they were both talking about the other so I ignored both and put my phone in my pocket thinking about the girl in my seat and wondering if she had a twin if she was really with Xay but when I started towards the table, I really hoped I was wrong about that. The closer to her I got, the better I could make out her features. She looked like a living cinnamon doll, that was how beautiful her skin was. She had these big eyes that somehow weren't protruding. She had dyed her hair orange \ and it was hanging down past her shoulders, a little wild. It was obvious that she was more of a tomboy than a girly girl but that made her more attractive. I stood behind her just observing before she turned to look at me, when our eyes locked there was a connection. Xay must have said something to her because she looked at him and back to me. I was sure that she was feeling the same thing as me but suddenly her face twisted as she looked at me like I had done something to her. Forget you too then. Sitting down in my spot, I was to embarrass to accept that I had misread her but then I felt her watching me. She wasn't even trying to hide it, just watched me like that was some normal everyday behavior for her. Something is wrong with this girl. When I turned to return her look, she was caught off guard and turned away. She's weird but I could get used to that.