Moral Of The Story

So I Never Really Knew You.

The blaring noise of my alarm clock woke me out of my deep, wet, sleep. I groan and want to go back to sleep, but I can't. A sudden fact sits me up in my bed. Today is the day. Looking over at my bed side table I see that it is only 6:00 AM, that gives me plenty of time to get myself looking good. I bound out of my bed and onto my grayish carpet. Looking around I notice that everything seems to have a golden haze around it. Looking to my window, I see that the sunrise is responsible. The pink, orange, and yellow colors melt together to form an amazing ombré of light. That is when I know today is going to be a great day.

Walking over to my dresser on the other side of the room I start to get dressed. I don't spend hours picking out my outfit this morning as I have already picked it out. Sitting atop my dresser is a beautiful orange Teletubbies dress. I spent the last week racking my stupid, dumb bitch brain for a good outfit idea when I finally came up with the dress. I only spent $300,000 to buy the dress. But it's whatever, my mom will just have to sell me to Harry Styles so she can buy a pack of beer.

You see... I'm not like other girls. I have dirty blonde hair that falls right on my shoulders. I don't listen to Billie Eyelash or Jason Dorito. No, I listen to the one and only Cardi-B. Remember when I mentioned that 'today is the day'? Well that's because I am going to a Cardi-B meet and greet today. I don't know how my dumb bitch self got her paws on a ticket. Well, probably because I sold my underwear on eBay, but that's besides the point. Today I am going to meet my idol!!!

—————time skip————-
As the Uber pulls up to the venue my palms start getting sweaty. The line is already so long. I don't know how Cardi will even remember me.

As I walk up to the line I notice that nobody else seems to be coming. Great, I'm at the end of the line. The line moves faster than I thought it would, and as I get closer I can hear her beautiful voice, " OOOKUURRRR". The words roll off of her tongue like butter. The little quakes in the ground remind me that Cardi-B is a literal god. I can't wait.

Suddenly I am at the front of the line. I'm not ready. Stumbling over my words I manage to get a small hello out of my mouth.
"Weeeeelll ddaaaamnnnn" Cardi exclaimed with every ounce of confidence in her voice. "You lookin like a snaaaack babes"
"T-thanks C-Cardi..." I stammered.
"Hey... how about we get out of here ;)"
Wait.... What? Does Cardi-B want to do the devils tango with me?