The Fault In Our Stars (WIOS Book 2)

CHAPTER 35

I WOKE up inside the hospital.

I was alone.

And it was dark.

"Love?"

Someone held my hand.

"Love...." It was Sandro.

"Love... I can't... I can't see you.."

"Where are you?" Hinahanap ko kung saan siya.

But it was pitch dark.

I can hear him sobbing.

"Love... what happened?"

I asked.

I was able to find his face.

It was wet..he has been crying.

"Love...why can't I see you?" I asked.

"Why?" I heard him asked that.

"Why didn't you tell me, love?" He asked.

I know what he means.

"I... I'm so sorry..." I can feel my own tears.

"Love.." He said.

I heard Dr. Cua entered.

"Hi, Mirana."

"Doc..what happened? Bakit di ako makakita?"

"Well, your lost of vision it is cancer related retinopathy. It is one of the leading symptoms of any type of cancer, in your case it showed up very late."

He started.

"Typically, loss of vision develops over months and can precede the diagnosis of the underlying malignancy."

"Is this temporary, doc?" I heard mommy Liza said.

"Unfortunately, we cannot tell as of the moment if she would be able to regain her sight."

"Lalo na at..."

I know what he is trying to say.

"Doc....don't please..." I begged him

"What? What are you trying to say Dr. Cua?" I can feel the tension in Sandro's voice.

"Mirana...I—" Dr. Cua was hesistant.

"Doc! Please sabihin nyo na!" Sandro was shouting.

I held his hand.

"When we had the surgery with Mirana, 3 months ago. We found out that the cancer has spread through her entire stomach, including the liver and her ovaries."

"Mirana's colon cancer has proceeded from stage 2 to stage 4."

"What?!" They were all surprised.

Napayuko na lang ako.

"What do you mean? Akala ko ba natanggal niyo na? Ba't ngayon 'yan na yung sinasabi niyo?"

I heard Vinny.

Tumahimik naman si Sandro.

He realizes that he knows why.

"I—"

"Mirana?" Sandro asked me.

He's waiting for me to tell them the truth.

"I'm so sorry..." Hindi ko alam kung paano ko i-explain sa kanila yung totoo.

Back in Batanes, Dr. Cua told me that the chemotherapy isn't working anymore.

So I should proceed to surgery.

Meaning they would open me up and find out kung anong nangyayari sa loob ng tiyan ko.

I declined. Hindi ko alam anong gagawin ko pag nalaman ko yung totoo.

He warned me na baka umakyat na sa stage 3 yung cancer ko and my health would rapidly decline over time.

"If something happens to me, doc, and you needed to do the surgery on me. Please.... I'm begging you. Wag niyo muna sabihin ang totoo sa asawa ko at sa pamilya ko."

"Mirana... that would be—"

"Please, doc, if I am gonna die. Gusto ko na maaalala nila ako as a healthy person. As a happy person I used to be."

He nodded and respected my decision.

May pinirmahan din akong contract between doctor-patient confidentiality.

Then after the surgery, we found out that I have stage 4 cancer.

Stage 4 cancer agad. Like how my mom used to have it.

"Mirana... I'm so sorry." The moment I found out about it.

Gumuho ang mundo ko.

The dreams and plans I had with Sandro, the dreams I had for my kids.

I promised myself na lalaki ang mga anak ko na may mga magulang.

Hindi katulad sa nangyari sa akin.

But now I am gonna fail them.

I'm gonna break their hearts in a very young age.

"Can we still do anything about it?" Sandro asked him.

"We can still proceed to another form of medication for her."

"Then let's do that." Daddy Bong said. Nandito din pala siya.

"We can.. if we have the patient's consent." Dr. Cua answered him.

"Love?... what..?" He asked me.

I can hear their confusion.

"Why won't you do it?"

"Love..." I was trying to find his hand.

"Please under—"

He let go..

"I can't live without you, Mirana and you know that."

"Please listen to me."  Hinahanap ko siya ulit.

Pero nararamdaman ko na lumalayo siya.

"You decided this on your own and I am not gonna stay here and watch you die."

"Sandro!" Sigaw ni Daddy Bong.

"Love... please don't leave me!"

"Bro.. where are you going?" Simon tried to stop him.

I can hear how he walked out of the room.

Naramdaman ko naman na niyakap ako ni Mommy Liza.

I heard he slammed the door behind him.

He left me.

In the middle of this chaos, he left me crying.