Last Friday Night

Spencer's bag is heavy over his shoulder. The beige messenger bag hangs loosely over his body as he grips it to his stomach. His eyes are red and itchy, his cheeks swollen, even his lips are perpetually stuck in a frown.

Worst of all, he can't stop dragging.

It's not that he's in pain, or bored, or whatever else could make someone drag- it's because he's exhausted.

He's been thinking all weekend. His mind playing in a loop. And now- he's stuck with 48 hours of no sleep and a breakless job.

"Morning Reid," Prentiss greets. She's sitting at her desk, everyone else already settled at theirs, and she's way too chipper for a Monday morning.

Reid doesn't respond, he sits at his desk without even bothering with coffee, because- what good would it do?

"Reid," Prentiss continues, oblivious to Reid's eyes dropping- a millisecond of a nap, "You okay?"

Reid's eyes snap open, watching her- his eyebrows furrow, "What?"

"She asked If you were okay, kid," Morgan's speaking. Morgan's speaking! "What's up with you, man?"

"Is this about what we talked about on Friday?" JJ asks, sitting on his desk and smiling down at him. Reid recoils from her presence. From all of their presences.

Reid never understood sex. He got the sensations, the movements, the intimacy- but he never understood it.

For example- Morgan had sex because he enjoyed it. He liked the sensations. He loved to feel adored, worshiped, even. He never loved them. Reid knew that. Morgan always preached about how relieving sex could be, but honestly, Spencer didn't feel the same. Not with people that were strangers. Strangers picked from a dance floor because of their outward appearance. Strangers with lives of their own and jobs. They touched other people and things and he couldn't think about it. It made his skin crawl. It all seemed so, so far away from his comfort zone. He couldn't bring himself to do it.

But the topic became of interest to Morgan, and he wanted Reid's opinion, and he didn't know what to say. It didn't help that they were in the bureau, working through monotone files with Emily right next to them, JJ on her desk. He knew they'd talked about sex. They had sex. But it still felt... wrong.

Did he want it, with Derek? Sure, yes, of course, he did. Morgan was Morgan. The man was like a god on earth, and Spencer knew he couldn't compete. Not only that, but the few times Morgan had been with a guy- it'd been a guy like him. Not like Spencer.

But Reid wasn't sure what he wanted.

He wanted to have sex with Derek for physical reasons, but also because... well, it's Morgan. The protector. The guy who always listened to him. Talked to him. His best friend. And that was exactly why Reid could not answer him.

When Reid was silent for too long, Derek's face began to morph in that endearingly concerned way of his, and he started to apologize. He was very serious when he said that Reid didn't have to answer if it made him uncomfortable.

Spencer didn't want to answer, but the more he sat there- silent, the more uncomfortable he got. He was being weird. Just answer. You're an adult. You've had sex before- kind of, and you can certainly talk about it. Even in front of girls.

"It's okay, Morgan," Spencer reassured his co-worker, forcing a laugh that he hoped didn't sound too uncomfortable. "I mean, I don't frequent the clubs quite as often as you do, but I still think that sex is a matter of opinion. It's not a need, so if someone doesn't want to do that stuff, it's cool."