My head hurts a lot these days. It twirls and somersaults, it crashes and tumbles, but it's the worst when it hits itself, purposely, it will punish itself. It happens often, everyday, my mind is upset with itself. Because we are useless, we are pathetic, we don't have time, and our time has long run out. No one wait for me, no one stop and look back. But be away from me, walk and disregard. I'd rather you left me on my own than stopped and watched.
If I fall it'll be because my dislodged spine makes it so that I can't stand straight. If I sputter and heave, that'll be because the ribs I ripped out have long let my lungs fester. I'll break in two, I'll snap, my hips will pull away from my torso. They long for seclusions of their own, because they don't want to hurt each other anymore.
But I imagine it a peaceful existence after that. I'll lay on the warm dirt, and I'll allow it to embrace me. My joints will feel loose, and my back will no longer ache. My chest will butterfly and release the pungent pressure within. My neck will rest easy.
My heart will beat flush against mother earth and our rhythms will sync. As I become part of her, my sight will clear, my ears will enjoy the hum of nature.
My mind, will be ingulfed by sleep, will be overcome by warmth, will be comforted by her presence.
I will be free.
