Fish Angst (Oneshot)

Fincest

    Laughter. Joy. Bliss.

That was all I knew when I was with her. From the very start, she had been with me. Before we even saw the light of day, still little eggs, we were together.

    “Umm… H-hello?” I heard a sweet voice softly call out to me. “H-hi, my name is Nella. What’s yours?” 

The moment I became an alevin it already felt like a dream! There, before me, was the prettiest fish I had ever seen. Well, she was the only fish I had seen so far, but still.

    “Sam. M-my name is Sam!”

    “Sam! Wanna be friends?” she asked cheerfully. How could I decline?

    “Sure!” and from then on, we were inseparable.

    “Haha. You’re it!”

    “Hey! Not fair!” Nella whined. “I know I’m slow, but can’t you tag anybody else? I’ve been it seven times already.”

    “Heehee. Sorry, you’re the only fish I wanna chase.” AHH! Why did I say that? That’s so embarrassing. I prepared myself to be made fun of, but as I looked up to see her face, she had a surprised look.

    “Hahaha. Sam, we’re still fry. We have our whole lives ahead of us.” 

I’ve done it now. She will never want to be friends with me ever again! I tried to swallow the lump in my throat as I felt a pang of nervousness and regret wash over me. 

    “I’m sor-”

    ‘But I still want to be with you until we both die spawners! So promise me, Sam, that you’ll stay by my side until the very end.” 

I was on the verge of tears. Tears of happiness and relief, but behind them were the bittersweet tears of rejection.

    We are now smolt. Even after my rejection, I still very much loved Nella. One day, we were resting near a log in shallow water. We hadn’t said anything to each other since we got there, but Nella decided to break the silence. She did not look me in the eye and her tone was softer and a bit more shy, like how she was the day we met.

    “Hey Sam, I was wonderi- AHH!” Before Nella could finish her sentence, she was caught by a bird. Its sharp claws wrapped around her small body and lifted her out of the water and out of  sight.

    “Hey, bird dude, give me my friend back!” I tried to jump out of the water to see where the bird was heading with Nella. 

    “Sorry, little smolt, your friend here is my dinner and there is nothing you could do to stop me! MWAHAHA- OOF” Just as I thought all hope was lost, the dumb bird flew into a tree and dropped Nella back into the water. I quickly swam to her and took her by the fin.

    “Come on Nella, we have to hide before the crazy bird regains consciousness.” From then on, we were more aware of our surroundings and always stayed together, as if we weren’t already spending every waking hour together already.

A few years have passed since that incident and we are now adults. Spending every day with Nella never got tiring. I grew to love her more and more. After the bird incident, I helped Nella build up her physical strength so she could be safer if we ever came across danger again. She was much faster now, her agility increased, and her senses were phenomenal. 

In the middle of the day, we were out looking for food. I made the biggest mistake of my life. I shouldn't have left her. I found myself by the foot of a big brown bear. I froze in fear. My life flashed before my eyes and I saw the bear’s mouth swoop down in my direction. I closed my eyes, preparing for death. Goodbye, Nella. I never got to tell you how much I loved you. Sorry, Nella, for leaving you alone. 

5 seconds had passed.

I didn’t die? I could’ve sworn the bear was just about to gobble me up. I open my eyes to see what happened. I wish I didn’t see the horror that had cursed my eyes. Blood. Nella’s blood filled the water. Gasping, I let out a choked scream.

“NELLA! NELLA NO! Let her go you monster! Give Nella back. I-I can’t live without her." I desperately begged the brown bear to give her back, but it was useless. “Why did you do that Nella? You should’ve saved yourself!”

“Sorry bud, I have a family to feed. I can’t let this one go. Just be happy you’re alive because if it weren’t for her jumping into my mouth, you would’ve been the one dead,” the bear said in a calm but assertive manner. It hurt so much I could barely breathe. 

“Sam. It’s ok. Please don’t worry about me,” Nella said horsley. “I did it because I… I love you.” 

She loved me. 

The little ray of euphoria was interrupted by the heavy heartbreaking reality. She loved me, but it was too late. Our future, our kids, our promise. Everything was slipping away, out of reach. The bear started to walk away. I frantically chased after it hoping she would miraculously fall back into my fins, but alas, bears are much more intelligent than birds.

“Sam, I’m sorry we couldn’t spend more time together. Sorry that we couldn’t keep our promise. I know you’ll find another lucky salmon to breed with. You’ll be fine without me,” she said with a weak smile smothered on her scratched face.

 No, I won’t be fine. What’s the point of living if I wasn’t living with you?

“Nella, Please don’t leave me alone!”

“Goodbye, Sam.” 

And with that, she was gone.

I spent the rest of my adult salmon life in despair. It was time to head back to the place I came from. As I was swimming, a male salmon approached me eagerly. With him, two other salmon followed, both female. 

“Hey, Sam, long time no see!” They seemed to know me, but I do not recall knowing who these fish were.

“Forgive me, but who might you all be?” I asked in a deadpan voice.

“Awe come on, Sammy boy, it’s me! Sash! Weren’t we chums?” he asked.

“Umm no? I am a sockeye and by the looks of it, you are too.” At this point I was getting annoyed and tried to make it clear to them that I had no idea who they were, nor did I want any part of them. “What kind of animal doesn’t know what species they are?”

“Dude, we were friends back when we were all fry, don’t you remember? We were playing tag once with you and Nella then you guys suddenly disappeared. Oh, by the way, how is she? Have you seen her recently by any chance? You guys were close back then.” his words stung. Nella, how I missed her.

“She died not too long ago.” I tried to hold back the pain in my voice.

“Sorry to hear that man. If it makes you feel better, you can mate with one of my ladies here. This is Aya, and that’s Kai. They’re real beauties. With the way you look, you’ll never find anyone else to mate with, so why not make your life easier and take one. I promise you won’t be disappointed.” he said persuasively. Sash was right; I would’ve never found anyone else to mate with if he didn’t introduce me to Aya and Kai. I wouldn’t have the guts to find one myself. 

“Okay, then I guess I’ll take Kai?” I said reluctantly. Kai’s eyes lit up at the sound of her name. She gave me an excited look.

“I promise I won’t let you down!” she said with a determined yet nervous tone.

“Alright, let’s head back to our birthplace everyone! Death awaits, but first, we shall make babies!” Sash proclaimed. After getting to know each other a bit more, we set off for our destination: The beginning.

I am now a spawner. Just in time because we have finally arrived at the place we were born; the place where Nella and I first met. Everything was so nostalgic, it hurt. 

“Honey, it’s time,” Kai cooed. It was time to mate. Death was that much closer. Oh, how I’ve been waiting for it for so long. 

Nella, I’ll see you soon.

A few days later, I felt really weak. My consciousness was fading and I felt like I was floating. 

This is it, Nella. I can finally see you again. 

This was my final thought before I drifted off into an eternal slumber.