SCRIPTURIENT REVIEWS | OPEN

❄ BROKEN PROMISES | SARA ❄

Reviewed by: Anusara12
Book Title: Broken Promises
Author: Nebulaxxx_1401

Cover: 6/10

The Cover of your book is simple. But I would suggest you try to play around with the fonts because it is very simple and there are a lot of negative spaces in the picture. Try to play with different fonts and make sure that the title is visible. Also try to add subtitles which might pique the interest of the readers without reading the blurb. It can be just a quote or a line said by your characters to draw the readers in.

Title: 4/10

The title of your book is great. It piques the interest of readers who are interested in reading romance and teen fiction novels. But then 'Broken promises' is a very common title. You can search it up to find more than fifteen books just on wattpad. It isn't unique enough for the people to pick your book at the very first glance. Try to play with words to come up with a unique title for your book.

Blurb/Description: 4/10

The blurb of your book could've been better. The blurb was really short and It didn't really have enough information for the readers to begin with. The first paragraph was an extract of the book I guess, so I would suggest you leave some space or insert a divider to start the next paragraph. The second paragraph had just one line but didn't really give a clear idea about the book. It just mentioned how the protagonist needed each other. Other than that it didn't have enough information to pull the readers in. Try to include about their past (not a detailed one but just a few words to sum up their experience), their friends, how they encounter and why they need each other.

Creativity and Originality : 6/10

I liked how you gave a mysterious past for both the protagonists which might help draw the attention of the readers. But then, their pasts or the events weren't unique. There are a lot of wattpad books with similar events.

Both Scarlet and Javier have a similar past, They both lost their parents and a sibling. I may feel this way maybe because you didn't really get into the details of their past or their feelings. Or how they dealt with their feelings.

Plot and Flow: 9/20

The basic plot was really simple and one of the most overused plots in wattpad. Maybe if you focused more on building mystery and bringing in some drama, it would make your plot better, stronger and it will also help draw readers in. Also, since both Javier and Scarlet have lost their parents it would be impossible for anyone to believe that they don't have guardians. There must be someone taking care of them until they turn eighteen. At some places there were instances which were hard to believe.

The flow of your book could've been better. I felt it was kinda rushed because we didn't really get to see the friendship bloom between Javier and Scarlet but then suddenly they were more than friends. And when Scarlet learned about their friends, we didn't really get how she felt. Other than that she was feeling down and wasn't in a great place. Try to give more insight about the feeling of the character and let the readers adjust to the new setting before improving it.

Character Development: 4/10

As I said earlier, since the flow of the book wasn't great, I didn't really get to see the character development. For instance, we don't really know who Javier is. Not the name or his past but his character. Is he short tempered? Or is he the silent one? Or is he the typical bad boy? We didn't know much about him. Even about scarlet. Though we knew about her past, we didn't know about her character. All we know is that she is emotional and cries a lot. Same goes for the other characters which were introduced.

Writing style, Grammar, spellings, etc.: 5/10

Everyone has their own unique writing style. Some people can explain the setting and surroundings really well but can't explain the emotions but some can explain the emotions really well. You didn't focus much on the surroundings but you focused on the character and their actions more. So, I would suggest you elaborate on their feelings more, readers will be able to connect more to the characters.

I didn't find many spelling mistakes but I did find a few grammatical mistakes. Let me just point out a few for you.

Firstly try not to use bold letters to write dialogues or just don't use it in the chapters. Maybe you can use it to highlight the point of view changes but not the dialogues because it grabs the attention and people tend to skip the previous parts to get to the dialogues. Moreover, it doesn't look neat. Try to use just normal letters and italics for emphasis. If you really want to show the emotions through the dialogues then capitalize the words.

Make sure you don't leave space before the punctuation marks and after the quotation marks. For instance,

" Haha very funny and please don't talk so loud. It isn't helping my headache. " Sam said.

The space after the open quotation and before the closed quotation isn't needed. So the correct sentence would be "Haha, very funny and please don't talk so loud. It isn't helping my headache." Sam said. This one looks more neat and grammatically correct.

Try to take it to the next paragraph when the speakers change. It would make the readers to easily understand how the conversation flows.

For example,

Hannah said " I can't wait to get out of this hellhole. I just want to hang out with you guys ." Oh yeah, about that..." Umm... You see I can't hang out with you guys tonight I have an extra shift to work. " I said trying to look like a cute little kid.

This should have been:

"I can't wait to get out of this hellhole. I just want to hang out with you guys." Hannah grumbled, stretching her arms.

"Umm...you see I can't hang out with you guys tonight. I have an extra shift to work." I said, pouting, so that they would let me off the hook.

The second one is more neat and it gives a clear idea about their attitude and who the speaker is.

Capitalize only if it's the first word of a new sentence or if it's a noun. Try not capitalize in the middle of the sentence.

For example

Kat and Sam were no longer arguing and looking at me. Kat said " no no no ... Don't u dare try to look cute with your puppy eyes "

It should have been:

Kat and Sam were no longer arguing and looking at me. Kat said "no no no...don't you dare try to look cute with your puppy eyes."

These were a few of them. Try to proofread the chapters before publishing them. Make sure that the sentence structure is perfect so that the meaning is clear.

Genre relevance: 7/10

It was definitely a romance book as the story focuses on Scarlet and Javier but I didn't really find a mystery theme even after reading thirteen chapters.

Reader enjoyment and Communication with the readers: 4/10

As I said earlier, there weren't enough descriptions in your book that may be a disadvantage in connecting with the readers. If the readers can't connect with your characters then it won't be fun reading for them.

Overall: 49/100

I didn't really enjoy reading it. I wouldn't say it is bad but it just needs some improvement for it to be enjoyable and really fun to read. Try to maintain a constant pace. Don't rush the characters, take some time to elaborate on the feelings of the characters and the surrounding. It will help the readers to connect with the characters and they will definitely enjoy reading it. Really sorry for the very late review. Keep writing! All the best!