letters to a dead girl

a teenagers romance

dear horcrux experiment number 4,

you were never one for romance.

i would wipe the stain of ruby off my hands, letting the cold water wash it and the smell of copper away in order to meet you for our afternoons together. hiding bruises and dark marks under long rain coats in order to court you for your estimated lifespan.

nothing fancy— you said you didn't need it.

would you have wanted it?

we would go to your apartment, and while you ordered nasty takeout, i would lean against the sink, the fluorescent lights frustrate the ever present thud of an oncoming migraine and the bags under my eyes are illuminated. can you see murder in a face? i hope not, for your sake mainly. the one date you had planned, and i'd have to ruin it. i was always ruining things.

but we would sit together and watch those movies and eat our chinese food, and it was serene. the movies are over and our credits will always roll, roll, roll as more numbers are added. an author's note will always go out to you.

Death makes me tired. tired and bitter. is that why you would butter me up with the sweet wines? were your kisses a way to extract the poison from my soul? it infected you so strongly, maybe it killed you before i got the chance.

He gave you an eternal sleep.

lucky girl.

my eyes were always tired and hands red from being rubbed raw and clean, yet you still find me handsome? how low one can go (6 feet)?

and the days we did go out were nothing crazy. i grabbed my knife, and you grabbed my hand, and we were off. not needing much but each other and some days i find it hard to fake.

my poker face is good though, and my hand is much too good to lose.

our days simple and sweet like you, and our nights filled with tense affairs and empty bottles (still sweet, still simple).

no need for fancy restaurants or being shown off, if only the other girls knew that.

it wasn't so complicated with you, now was it?

no, it wasn't.

I only wish our dates were more romantic.

a hopeless romantic,
tom riddle