The Vampire's Bodyguard

Chapter 1 - England

As I laid there in the dark cold coffin that Laszlo had locked me in, I couldn't help but hate him for that. I took a bite out of one of the Oreo cookies Laszlo had packed for me in anger, my frustration getting the best of me and making me crush the cookie in my hand. I let the pieces of the Oreo cookie hit the floor of the coffin, making it even more dirtier then it already was, I could care less though. I'll never forgive what Laszlo had done to me. What was he thinking? Oh right, he can't.
   I couldn't wait to get out of here and meet up with Nandor. We were going to have a nice vacation exploring the world together! But Laszlo had to go and fuck our plans up. Sometimes I wish he was gone. No. I can't think about that, what if I made him go, death by my own hands? Nandor won't ever forgive me for that. I must take my mind off that now since I hear the coffin being placed down on some grass. It went quiet, so Nadja spoke.
   "Laszlo? You still there honeybuns?" Nadja asked.
   "Well, actually it's Guillermo Nadja.." I said.
   "What? What happened to Laszlo??" She asked, sounding freaked out.
   "He pushed me into the coffin. Then left." I replied, I guess we're both angry at Laszlo.
   "What the hell! He would never do that! You did this! You left him!!" She yelled from the other box.
   "No really! He pushed me in here when I was putting "his things" in the coffin! I wouldn't do anything to sabotage your relationship! He's the one that sabotaged everyone's relationship!" I answered her, "We both just wanted a nice trip! But Laszlo had to go and fuck it up!"
   "Guillermo don't you ever speak to me in that manner! Do you want me to get out of this box and rip your intestines out??" She yelled back.
   I fell silent.
   "Yeah! That's what I thought! Now-.... Get out of your box and open mine..." She said, sounding embarrassed for asking.
   I didn't really know how to get out at first, but on the way here I found a way. I opened the coffin and kept busting the wooden crate with it until it finally bursted open. Once I got out, I started to bang on Nadja's crate.
   "Can you open your coffin and bang on the crate for me please?" I asked nicely, hoping for her to comply.
   Nadja began doing that, the crate gathering some cracks as dust flew. I grabbed onto the side of the box and pulled on it with all I can, me eventually falling back on my ass as it opened. Ouch- at least the grass is soft. She got out carefully, lifting up her fluffy dress as she stepped, holding Nadja doll to her chest. Nadja doll looked like she was sleeping. I didn't know that ghosts slumbered, or was she acting to feel what it was like?
   "My little darling dolly, wake up!" Nadja grinned as she poked the dolls stomach.
   Nadja doll laughed as she "woke up".
   "Heeey bitches!" She laughed.
   I chuckled slightly, Nadja doll was funny sometimes. I got up slowly, stumbling a little. They both looked around.
   "Where are we? Are we in England?" Nadja asked.
   I looked around also, seeing the flag hanging from atop of a pole.
   "Yup! Welcome to England. Now we should probably get out of here before those workers come back." I say, noticing that I could still see the docked boat.
   Nadja nodded, "It looks so different! But- Yeah let's go."

   Once we got away from the docks, I was starving. I couldn't eat anymore Oreos, or sweets for that matter. Not a lot of people were outside when we got there because it was night, but it was more then where we lived, I could tell Nadja was a little nervous but she just didn't want to say it. I knew that if she lost her precious dolly she would flip. She already has one time, and we don't want that happening again.
   "Alright, I'm starving so I'm getting some fo-" I got cut off.
   "No! We are getting new clothes so that we can blend in!" She said, pushing me into a dark alley way.
   "No I don't think we shou-"
   "Yes the hell we are!"

   She had dressed me up in old fashioned clothes. I looked like a fancy guard while she looked so pretty in a white dress sparkling with gold, Nandor would've loved that. She always looked pretty in a dress, wouldn't date her though since I'm- y'know. Gay. No one knew though, but I suspected that Laszlo and Nandor were either Bisexual, Polysexual, or Pansexual, not sure though.
   "Alright, now can we get some food?" I asked.
   "Sure. While you eat your disgusting food I'll look for more delicious humans to drink from!" Nadja grinned.
   We were in a store when she said that. I saw a worker lady look over at us, I grinned back and chuckled nervously.
   "No, she's joking of course! Heh-" I said before running after her and Nadja doll, I didn't look back.

   Finally we got some food, Nadja drinking from a man's neck in the darkest alley way, and me eating some random British food. It was alright but I could tell Nadja was enjoying her food more then me. I wondered what blood tastes like to vampires. Was it salty or bitter like us humans tasted? Or was it sweet like honey? I wanted to know, and each night I would pray for my master to make me one. I wonder where he is now. I could feel my heart pick up paise as I thought about all the horrible things that could've or will happen to my master. Oh god. I mean- oh satan? That didn't feel right. I brushed my thoughts off as I looked at Nadja, Nadja doll leaning against the brick wall. She took her teeth out of the man and licked her lips, some of the blood dripping down her chin. Boy what I would do for Nandor to do that to me.. what? Why was I thinking that? Anyways- we made our way over to the Vampiric Council.
   "Y-you actually have some blood dripping down your chin.. you might wanna clean that up before going in..." I said.
   "Thank you Guillermo." She said as she wiped her mouth again, the blood smearing on her face, "Alright let's go!"
   I sighed, following her in. If this goes bad—

we're dead.