DISENCHANTED ⟶ Anakin Skywalker

IX. Guilty Conscience

𝘿𝙄𝙎𝙀𝙉𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙉𝙏𝙀𝘿 - ɢᴜɪʟᴛʏ ᴄᴏɴᴤᴄɪᴇɴᴄᴇ

Anakin gazed out into the open sky where there were no damp trees to burden his view. "Beautiful night," Arcane comments as she sat beside the lonesome Jedi. The stone beneath them was wet still from the evening rain, however Anakin had rested his robe down to cover the ground. "Isn't it?"

"Yeah," the boy answered shortly. It was obvious a lot was weighing on his fragile mind, yet Arcane didn't push. She'd rather hear him speak when he found it right. "Arcane," he turned to grab the woman's eyesight even though her eyes remained a mystery to him. "You heard the princess' offer, correct?" The woman nodded. "What are your thoughts?"

Arcane took a moment to rethink the events from earlier, taking in all that the woman had to say in retaliation to Anakin's snarky comments. "I... well. I don't really think my thoughts matter in this situation, Anakin."

"They do," he said with a hint of need.

"You should go," Arcane suggested shyly. "I think that going is your only chance of getting anywhere with the king. If that's still what you want at least." Anakin nodded his head, but it was transparent that he was looking for a little more than Arcane had to offer at the time. "I... If I were in your shoes I don't know what I would do. The woman has obviously inflicted grief upon you for some reason unknown to me, but then again I have a need of my own. I know what I need out of this, and I'd go against my negative feelings simply for my own selfish reasons."

Shifting his eyes back to the stars, Anakin nodded slowly. "Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

"This is the first time I've felt... at home. This planet has brought me closer to the feeling of home more so than any other planet in our system. I can't explain it, it's just so-"

"Dangerous," Arcane answered for him. "You're use to the dangers you grew up around. The injustices you saw each day. Excuse me for assuming, but there isn't much injustice when it comes to the sacred Jedi temple, is there? And it's not every mission you get to sit and revel in the dangers... is it?" Anakin shook his head side to side, yet he wasn't ashamed of his wants, his desires. "Allow me to be honest as well. I have never felt safer in such a dangerous environment. You and Master Kenobi have ensured my safety, and trust."

Anakin gazed out into the glistening sky with a tiny smile on his sculpted face. "I wish more people on this planet were like you, Arcane," he confessed, his eyes shifting toward the ground. "You're so passionate about protecting your people, you'd do anything in your power to keep  them safe. It's admirable." The glint in Anakin's eyes had changed into a troubled foreboding gaze. Arcane placed her hand upon the man's right shoulder, taking notice in his shift in attitude. "It's something the Jedi will never understand." Abruptly, Anakin raised to his feet, his mind unable to restrain the horrifyic memories that were left to rot in the back of his mind... until now.

Arcane, skeptical of the man's intentions, raised to her full height as well, though she didn't come across as hostile as Anakin. "Are you yourself not a Jedi?" Arcane inquired, taken slightly aback. "Is that not what you practice?" The boy was quiet. "Anakin," the girl tried again to illicit a response.

"I wish you were real," he whispered under his breath, just loud enough for the worried Arcane to hear.

"I am real- "

"You're not," he interrupted with haste, his brows tightly knitted together. "You're a faceless lie." Arcane shrunk in stature for the first time in her entire existence. How had he gone so quickly from complimenting her passion, to degrading her? What had changed?

Arcane relaxed her tense shoulders, her hidden eyes gazing deeply into the troubled man's. "You don't hold the power to belittle me, Anakin. I have been called many names by those I've cared about much more." A single tear slipped from her eye. "We're more alike than you think." His eyes widened curiously, encouraging the woman to speak more on the matter, but she didn't.

Though his mind raced with what exactly that had meant, there was one thing he knew for sure. The concealed woman, hidden away by dark cloaks, wasn't gifted as he was.

𝘿𝙄𝙎𝙀𝙉𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙉𝙏𝙀𝘿 - ɢᴜɪʟᴛʏ ᴄᴏɴᴤᴄɪᴇɴᴄᴇ

Anakin ran his drenched fingers through his hair, his mind fogged over with the conversation he previously had with Arcane. Everything she said was right. Anakin knew he was a thrill seeker, and that nothing in the universe would stop him from protecting the ones he loved. Only, he wasn't allowed to love. It was prohibited by the Jedi code. For two decades Anakin has been hiding away his real self, only acting out when alone, for he knew the catastrophic consequences behind his rash decisions.

"I have news," Obi-wan said, interrupting the conversation occurring in Anakins mind. "The Jedi council have spoken. They want us to return immediately upon speaking to the king one last time." The older of the two inspected Anakin's robes, assuring they met his cleanly standards. "It's what's best for us."

"For us," Anakin scoffed. "Maybe, but we're killing the people of this planet in the process of abandoning them." His facial expression turned sour upon hearing the news. How were they to abandon the people they swore they'd protect?

"It's not our responsibility. Now, Let's go," Kenobi ordered, dismissing Anakin's conflicted feelings.

As the two men ventured through the seemingly empty village, Obi-wan was left with the vision of what it use to be. The man felt no certain emotion, however, he was sure that the people who lived there felt as if they were trapped, ashamed, embarrassed. "It's a battle we cannot fight for them," he reminds himself.

Anakin rolled his eyes in response. "Guilty conscience," he asked, though he did not get an answer.