Trained For Sin

Chapter 33

Six Months Later

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear, Rose. Happy birthday to you." I sang softly through a smile walking towards her with a cake in my hands. Our dark kitchen was only illuminated by the candles and the warm glow of the sun as it started to rise. Rose smiled wide giggling before she blew out her candles.

I kissed her forehead as I cut her a small piece of her favorite cherry and chocolate cake, I've been making every year for her. "What did you wish for?" I asked curiosity after she thought intensely before blowing out the candles. "I can't tell you! Then it won't come true." She said in a duh tone with her mouth full. I chuckled as I cut myself a small slice.

"When will we see Uncle Nick again?" Rose asked looking up at me as we ate making me look away from her beautiful brown eyes. "Soon, honey. Everyone misses you." I smiled making her giggle excited. "Even Nathan?" She asked after a moment of silence.

Applying a smile pushing through the hurt I felt. "I'm sure." Was all I said making her smile as she continued to eat with chocolate cake crumbs and frosting on her face.

"How does it feel to be six now?" I asked amused as she thought hard for a moment. "I don't feel different. But I hope I start growing fast soon." Rose huffed making me chuckle softly. I looked down at her adoringly hoping she could we could stay in this moment forever.

Just the two of us by candlelight eating our favorite desert. Finally feeling calm and content. I had finally hoped that I had finally found a place where we were safe somewhere where we can call home. But as time grew apart from Nathan, I couldn't deny the ache I felt unable to spend a day thinking about him and how he was doing.

I started to remember the type of person I was when I was Rose's age. Learning to pick pocket and find any change on the ground, stealing tips at diners just to buy us food. Going to school in over worn clothes. I didn't know how poor we were then until I grew up and looked back at those days. It made me wonder the things Rose would realize as she got older.

I hated the idea of her realizing how much of a horrible mother I've been for her. Not being able to take care of her when I needed to even though I desperately wanted to. I never want her to remember anything of this life I had to lead.

"Well, you should feel a little different. Not every kid has birthday cake for breakfast." I smiled wiping away the frosting from her face making her giggle as she closed her eyes as I cleaned her up. "Go wash up and get dressed. We have an exciting day ahead of us!" I smiled through the pain as she got up out of her seat making me kneel to her height.

She squealed full of excitement before running off to her bedroom. I stood up to clean off the kitchen counter and get ready.

After we left Nathan that day, I drove us out of town and just continued to drive until we came to a small town with only a few people living here. Lying when I told him I had bought Rose and I plane tickets in case he tried looking for us at the airport. I've been renting a small apartment above a bookstore that an older woman owned.

She was kind enough to rent it to us for almost nothing even though I insisted I could afford the rent. The old woman assumed I couldn't afford much as a single mom without many belongings.

For the first few weeks of living here I couldn't get out of bed. Devastated for leaving Nathan like I did. Feeling empty without him. Rose had noticed something was obviously wrong and slept with me most nights and during the day. I knew she felt confused and lost for what was happening around her and she could easily see through my sorrow.

But I had to be strong for her. I had to pull myself together and hold on.

Her comfort slowly mended my heartache. It felt amazing to finally be in each other's arms after everything that had happened. To finally be able to relax and be with her without fear. Sleeping with Rose's head in my chest feeling her soft breathing against me. Memorizing every feature and dimple on her face. Her love and care helped me prioritize everything else over my heartbreak with Nathan. To keep my mind off of him.