please help me

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Boyfriend: Why would you give a knife to Annie?!
Whitty, shrugging: Annie felt unsafe.
Boyfriend: Now I feel unsafe!
Whitty: I'm sorry...
Whitty: Would you like a knife?


Boyfriend: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them?
Garcello, watching Pump screaming, Hank trying to set a sleeping Annie on fire, and Skid choking on air: I don't know either.


*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*
Whitty: I will not let you down.
Mommy Mearest: Sounds fun.
Girlfriend: K.
Boyfriend: No, I'm fucking not.
Annie: Do I have to be?
Garcello: Please god, I am so tired.


Boyfriend: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?
Pico: Can't relate.
Skid: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?


Pump: Christmas lights?
Ritz: Check.
Skid: Thermos of hot cocoa?
Ritz: Check.
Whitty: Santa suits?
Ritz: Check.
Boyfriend: Shovel?
Ritz: Check.
Selever: Alibi and bail money?
Ritz: Check- wait, WHAT?!


Garcello: But what about Selever?
Senpai: Don't worry about him.
Senpai: I once watched him fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating his hotdog like nothing happened.


Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent.
Skid: I choose to waive that right!
Skid: *screaming*


Tord: Love makes people do stupid things.
Girlfriend: I love everything!
Tord: That explains a lot.




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