Over and over

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"You can't control me. You're not my father" he hissed as he kept his grip on your fist. He smirked and brushed (Y/N)'s hair from his face while he continued to try and pull away. When he finally let go, (Y/N) fell back slightly and he stood up while saying, "You will listen to me. Or else you will receive the worst punishment available. Who cares about laws? This is the black market's world now. With a twirl he left the room with the same smirk and closed the door. All he could do was punch the wall until his knuckles were as red as a summer's sunset. There were small blood marks on the wall which snapped him back into reality and he stared at his hands until he finally fell asleep.

When he woke up, he felt a slight rumble emit from his stomach. "What time... is it?" he groaned and clicked his shoulders. They felt as if the world had been resting on them, including all the burdens that the damned had. Clinking of the chains round his ankles brought (Y/N) back to reality and the threat from before echoed in his mind.. No food or water for three days. Eugh. Fuck. What was he? A misbehaved animal? A mutt?! Well... To be fair he has made life Hell for those around him so maybe he deserved it. It seemed he had been hiding his true emotions with his temper when a tear fell down his cheek, followed by many more. 

"My life is Hell. I'm miserable" pulling his knees to his chest and burrowing his face made him feel more secluded and alone. He didn't need to be beaten to feel the punishment. Just being left alone with his thoughts was enough to send him spiralling into self-hate and judgement. A black cloud shrouded him in despair and his head just felt heavier and heavier with every thought. This is all his fault. He hurt his family, his old friends, teachers and even himself. Bottling it up for years was something he knew would bite him in the ass but it seemed that Kyo helped reopen old wounds and burst the tightly sealed lid. 

Through quiet sniffles and mumbles, "I am not even a good slave am i? I just ruin everything". The three days consisted of his thoughts ambushing him from every corner and the cycle of self pity, punching walls till his knuckles went numb, passing out and repeating. It seemed Kyo had actually forgotten his existence because on the fifth day he unlocked the door and stared at the emotional wreck that laid on the bed. A messy, depressed child with bags under his eyes that were darker than the clouds out that day. Perhaps he felt a little guilty? Nah. He frowned as he stole the blanket from (Y/N) and threw it beyond the doorway and his reach, "Having a mid-life crisis are you? You're too late for that. Also, I found out that it was your birthday during your solitude huh? That makes you finally an adult. When I was 18 I had my own business already set up. So doing a few chores won't kill you". He paused.

(Y/N) laid on the bed in the same position he had been since Kyo entered the room. A lifeless expression. He looked up without moving an inch. 18? His birthday? Time felt absent since living there. Since seasons were changing the sun was rarely present which didn't help in the depressive episode he was currently living. Kyo continued, "Look. I know it has been rough but how else will you learn? Stop being so childish. No one likes life. It is depressing, horrible and full of sick, demented human beings. But we continue to push forward. So you should too. Hopefully this 'time out' was a kick up the ass and gets your head out of the clouds." he grabs (Y/N)'s arm and pulls him to stand. Kyo patted him down to wipe off any mess he had and tidied his hair to make him somewhat presentable. What was the point? He was going to die in this place so why put in any effort to survive? (Y/N) sighed as he itched his neck and looked up at Kyo, "What is the point? Even if i became a better person what would that do? I wont be remembered in society or by anyone anyway...".

This sullen attitude was frustrating Kyo but he could understand. He sat on the bed and relaxed his shoulders, "Kid, I've felt what you have. Even though I may have been more successful and, perhaps, not a slave of some illegal hierarchy, I also had my moments when I felt like the world didn't need me. But then that means you're giving in to those who belittled you and what helped me push through was thinking, one day even if it was only by a little, i could be better than those who treated me terribly. Aim to do better than you did yesterday because then you'll be proud of that". He cleared his throat and left the room while leaving the door slightly open. 

The words weren't really making you feel better as you were stuck. Like a stick in a mud. No legs or arms to pull you through, there was no strength anymore. Kyo returned with some food. There wasn't' much but perhaps it might help. (Y/N) sat on the bed and slowly ate what was on the plate. Initially you felt sick to the stomach and in your throat, it had been so long since you ate, but as you neared the end you noticed your mood gradually improved. It was weird that he was attempting to make him feel better after the last incident. The escape attempt. Guilt began to take over as he stopped eating. "I... I'm sorry for hurting you. I won't do it again" (Y/N) lifted his head to face Kyo who showed his usual emotionless expression. Except this time he responded with, "Thank you for the apology (Y/N). Hopefully we can begin to get along in the future as I help you. After all, that is why I got you in the first place. I knew what it was like when I was younger and I didn't want you to end up like me" he stood up and slowly walked away. 

What does that mean?

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