Vous Êtes Belle

Chapter Twenty-Two

        I went to my room once I got home. Dads passed out in his chair, which gave me the perfect opportunity to make a full proof escape. I knew that he’d be happier with me gone. The only downside is he’ll have to buy a real punching bag though. He’ll find me hours or even days later in my bathtub with slit wrists, and be happy to see me dead and gone.

        I figured I should at least write a note. Every suicide needs a good note in my opinion, that way it explains everything. Plus it’s a way to know what that person was thinking and feeling at that time. Even though it wouldn’t be long it’s still something to remember me by. So I began writing...

Dad and Skylar, 

I’ve been a nuisance in your lives and everyone else's, so I feel that the only way to change that is by leaving. I’ve been through hell and back and I feel this is my only option. Dad, I miss how things used to be between us. We used to get along so well and now we can barely stand each other. When you left during the last fight we had, I heard what you said. That’s why I feel that leaving will lift the burden of me off your shoulders. Even though we never say this to each other, I love you dad and I will tell mom you love and miss her as well. Skylar, you are the friend that I’ve always wanted. You care for me and love me so much that you don’t ask for anything in return. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your love and support. I’m sorry that it has to end this way, but it’s better for all of us that this happens. I will be looking over you both, and you will always be in my heart. I love you guys.

Ryley 

        Short, sweet, and to the point. How a suicide note should be. I put the note on my desk and started to think.

        I will miss Skylar and my dad, but it’s like I said in the note, I will be looking after them. Even though my father and I don’t get along, he’s still my father and I love him very much but I’ll miss Skylar the most. She’s such an amazing person and I’m happy to call her my best friend, but I know that she will be better off without me. In the end, she will make new friends, have a better life, and forget all about me. I just need to be with my mom, and that’s one of the main reasons why I’m doing this.

        I texted a picture of the note to Skylar knowing that she wouldn’t be able to see it until later on tonight. She’s always busy, so by the time she’d see it I’d be long gone.

        I go into my bathroom, slide into the bathtub, and started to examine the new sharp knife that my dad bought. When I was planning this suicide out, I found a brand new knife and took it to my room. I replaced the knife with an older one so my dad didn’t notice it was missing. I hid the new knife in my desk, because my dad wouldn’t think about looking in there. I could hide anything in there and he would never see anything. Since the knife is brand new, the cuts it’ll make will be nice, smooth, and perfect. So without hesitation, I began slicing into my arm, and the new blade sliced my skin like butter.

        I feel a sense of comfort knowing that this was the end. This is the end to all of the pain, suffering, beatings, and humiliations. It’s just going to be my mother and I, just how it should be. I wrote a phrase into my arm with the knife. I wrote “Vous Êtes Belle” to let Skylar and dad know that they are beautiful on the inside and out. Hopefully I spelt it right, because if I didn’t that would’ve been embarrassing. I just tried to remember how Skylar wrote it when she showed it to me on her hand.

        I made one last cut that was the deepest one. I slit my vain so I would die from the blood loss, and hopefully quickly. Once I made that deep cut, I immediately began to loose consciousness. Then the one thing that I didn’t think would happen…happened. I heard my father come inside my bedroom.

        “Ryley? We have to talk son,” My dad said calmly. That was the calmest I’ve heard of him. It was as if he came to apologize or something, but he probably wanted money for more booze or something. I heard him grab the note from my desk, and within seconds I heard pounds on my bathroom door and as if he was trying to kick it down.

        “NO!” he screamed. He ran to my side, pulled me out of the bathtub, and quickly dialed 911 from his dinosaur of a cell phone that he had in his pocket.

        “Dad,” I said faintly. He’s holding me with tears in his eyes, but I thought my dad was incapable of showing emotion.

        “Yes Ryley?” He said with a slur. I’ve never seen my father cry before, but it was so beautiful

        “I...love...you.” I said faint. I could feel myself dying. It’s hard to explain, but it feels as if your soul is simply being taken away.

        “I love you too Ryley,” he said to me. This was the first time I’ve ever heard him tell me that in years. The emotion in his voice was so truthful, honest, and sincere that I couldn’t help but cry.

        “Why...don’t you...show it then...daddy?” I asked really slowly. I could barely see anything and talking was becoming more difficult.

        “I’m sorry Ryley. I truly am!” he said as we cried together. Then he hugged me with such love. He showed the compassion that I have longed for. I touched his face and that’s when I could hear the faint sound of an ambulance.

        “It’s...ok...da-” I whispered, but that’s all I could say before I went limb.