Kiss Deceive Repeat

Tonta, Boba.

Not lifting my head to look at her, I reached for a thin stack op files and placed it in front of me.

A long moment passed where neither of us spoke.

I could tell she was still standing there, all statuesque, a goddess cut of the finest marble. Unmoving and staring down at me. But she didn't say anything, not giving me an excuse to look up. So, I kept my eyes trained on the papers in front of me.

That long moment seemed to stretch into a painfully awkward amount of time, but right before I was about to lose the weird battle and look up, I sensed her leave. Then, I waited a full minute until I was sure she was long gone. And ... I let it all out.

My head fell on my desk with a muffled thud. No, not on the desk. My head had fallen on the stack of papers I had pulled over towards me, right before I put my foot in my mouth and somehow told my mother that the name of my made-up girlfriend was Diana.

A groan slipped out of me. It was ugly and miserable.

Just like my lie.

I softly bumped my head against the surface of my desk.

"Estúpida." Bang. "Idiota. Tonta. Boba. Y mentirosa." Bang, bang, bang.

That was the worst of all. Not only was I an idiot, but I was also a lying idiot.

The realization pushed another groan out of me.

***

"Wait, wait, wait, wait." Cora shoved her hand between us, making the universal sign to hold your horses. "You told your mom what?"

I shot her a look that could freeze Antarctica all over again. Probably send the world to ice age too.

"What are you going to do about all of this?" She asked patiently.

What the hell do I know?  I thought miserably.

Cora seemed to take that in for a long moment. "What if you actually consider her for this?"

My hands dropped from my temples to the wooden surface, and my stomach plunged to my feet. "Consider who?"

I knew exactly who. I just couldn't believe she was even suggesting it.

She humored me by replying, "Diana."

"Oh, Lilith's favorite daughter? I don't see how I should consider her for anything."

"You know what I think of her, Cora," I told her with a no-nonsense expression. "You know what happened. What she did."

My friend sighed. "That was a long time ago, Izzy."

"It was," I admitted, averting my gaze. "But that doesn't mean I've forgotten. It doesn't mean that just because it happened a handful of months ago, it's now somehow been written off."

"It happened over a year ago."

"Eighteen months," I corrected her far too quickly to hide that I had somehow kept count. "That's closer to two years," I muttered, looking down at the crumpled paper sheet that had wrapped my lunch.

"That's my point, Izzy," Cora remarked softly. "I have seen you give second, third, and fourth chances to people who have messed up far more. Some even repeatedly."

She was right, but I was my mother's daughter and therefore stubborn as a mule. "It's not the same. She was my best friend Cora."

I shook my head wearily, "Until she stabbed me in the back with her painfully manicured bitch nails. And then she had the guts to join my company after she fucked up one of the most important days in my life."

Making an effort to calm myself, I released a shaky breath.

Cora nodded, looking at me with the understanding only a good friend would. But there was something else there too. And I was under the impression I wouldn't like whatever she had to say next.

"I get it. I do, I swear." She smiled. "But look at the bright side, didn't the company shut down two months later anyways?"

I groaned, it was just my luck that my best friend had a photographic memory.

"I just think you were hurt—understandably so—and that bothered you enough to write her off this long." She clutched my hands. "You were hurt, and that's okay, sweetie. But is it reason enough to hate her forever?"

My first instinct is to say yes. But I stop myself, looking at her seriousness.

I sigh, "Can we just not talk about this right now?"

Cora smiles and nods, ending our conversation on a slightly disappointed note.