Give It To You

Chapter Three

Warnings: strong language, pregnancy, angst, pregnancy complication talks, fluff, mentions of death and violence, implications of sex, talks of miscarriage
A/N: Chapter update! Slow updates are now going to be expected. I'm sorry if this disappoints anyone...
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The snow had started falling again by night, slowly and steadily coming down. It was better than the blizzard that had passed, calming your nerves rather than adding to it. The night was dark blue, almost black, without the moon or stars to light it up. The city was just past the trees, lighting up in the distance. The light breeze had you shiver and pull your robe closer.

You didn't know why you were there. The team had had dinner in silence and, compared to what lunch was like, had started to feel the dread of the mission come upon them. You had wanted to say something, anything, to make them feel better, but there was nothing. You would be lying if you didn't feel the same amount of nervousness as them. The sensation had started off at your stomach and ended up in your throat.

"Doll?" Bucky's arms wrapped around your waist, warmth dripping from him. You embraced the warmth, leaning back and resting your head on his shoulder. He leaned down to place a kiss on your head. "Out here to catch a cold?"

"No," you laughed, turning around to face him. The light from the room was low, letting you see Bucky's face perfectly. "I don't know exactly why I'm outside..." you trailed off and started to play with his shirt sleeves.

"I think you do, Y/N," Bucky whispered, drawing out a shaky sigh from you. Tears filled your eyes before you buried your face into his chest. Bucky's arms moved up to wrap around your shoulders as yours went to his chest, hands gripping his shirt. Your first sob made his heart drop and the second made his heart shatter. "Y/N, doll." He tightened his grip on you, feeling your body shake with uncontrollable and choked sobs. You were trying to hold yourself back, Bucky realized with a jolt.

"Baby, you gotta tell me what's wrong," Bucky cooed, trying his best not to feel hurt by your instinct to hide your emotions. When you couldn't stop crying, he said, "Let it out. Tell me when you want, doll."

You sniffled and looked up at him with bloodshot eyes. "Sorry," you mumbled, voice as if it had been sanded down.

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Y/N," he consoled, rubbing your back soothingly. You stayed silent after his comment, staring at his chest for a while.

"We used to play in the snow," you said abruptly, sending him into a puddle of confusion. "He used to love it when it snowed gently like this. He would run out the house before mom called him back in and dressed him up for the weather. He'd drag me out of bed to see the slow snowfall. He loved it." Bucky had caught onto who you were talking about, but stayed quiet, not knowing what to say.

You shrugged and added, "Maybe that's why I'm outside."

"Y/N..." Bucky watched you with heavy eyes, feeling his stomach sink when a stray tear fell from your eye. He quickly brushed it away, snapping you out of your daze. You breathed shaikly, letting out a small huff, your lips forming an 'o'. The two of you stood there in silence, his eyes never leaving your face.

"Let's go to bed," Bucky said when you shivered for the third time. You nodded and grasped his hand to lead him inside. You couldn't see him, but you could feel his gaze on the back of your head.

You pulled off your robe, letting Bucky's hand go as he jumped onto the bed. He leaned on his elbow and placed his hand behind his head, watching you reveal your pajamas—his shirt, two or three sizes too big for you, and sweatpants. It was simple and comfy, but Bucky couldn't take his eyes off of you. You felt the heat rush to your cheeks, the shirt and sweatpants feeling way too hot to be in under his gaze. You climbed onto the bed, very well aware of how Bucky was watching you.