Seven Hills || Loz Taylor

Seven Hills

Alcohol, it ruled my life, I didn't know and I didn't believe it until now. So many signs pointed to the substance abuse, but I just ignored them and remained oblivious, everywhere I went I had to know whether there was some place I could go for a drink, and if there wasn't I'd bring some with me, I couldn't go for a lengthy amount of time without the depressant, my friends noticed, but obviously I didn't. It was destroying my friends, and now I knew it was destroying me, even more so.

My hair was messed up as I had run my fingers through the long locks far too often with anxiety. I'd just had a meeting with my band, saying that they hated to admit it but if I didn't change my ways, I would be kicked out of the band. I had to get a hold of myself, and fast.

So I walked up one of the seven hills in my hometown of Sheffield. The sky was thick with fog, as I was so high up, I was in the midst of the clouds. The condensation hit my face in quite large amounts and the coldness bit at my skin. I wrapped the leather jacket I had on, around my body as much as I could, to try and shield the cold from me even if it was only a bit.

My hands were numb from the cold as I gripped a supermarket, plastic shopping bag in my right hand. The glass bottles of many types of liquor clashed together, disturbing the quiet of the hills. I finally stopped when I came to a high enough altitude, and placed down the alcohol by my feet.

I looked out at the landscape, just about making out another hill through the fog. The wind blew at my hair and the rain made it stick to my face, but still every time, I pushed it away.

I closed my eyes and exhaled deeply. I opened my eyes again, looking down at the bag. I dipped my hand in and pulled out the first bottle I came across. The Smirnoff liquid was the only thing you could see fully through around here. I licked my lips, tempted to take off the lid and just gulp it down. But I couldn't, I had to change, I wanted to change. So the newly bought vodka was the first to go.

Gripping the neck of the bottle I brought it past my shoulder, raised up in the air. I swung my arm forward and let go of the bottle. I watched it disappear into the clouds and imagined it falling endlessly in the middle of the hills.

I wasn't waiting to hear it crash, because that would of been impossible to hear, I don't think I was waiting for anything, but I waited. It may have been because yet again the alcohol was controlling me, and it pained me to see it go to waste.

I gritted my teeth and pulled out the next thing in the bag, a six pack. I gripped the cans loosely, as I thought of how I could dispose of these. I knew it would take longer than what I did with the vodka but I proceeded to crack open one of the cans, hearing the blissful sound of it fizz. I gripped the can and poured its contents over the side of the hill.

And that was when I saw you.

Well, I heard you first, the sound the gravel on the path made as you walked towards me. I didn't think anything of it at the time, just continued to pour the beer off the hill.

I felt your presence, and watched you from the corner of my eye, you stood beside me, watching me pour the beer, and without a single word you did the same.

You picked up one of the cans that lay by my feet. I stopped as I had finished pouring all the addictive liquid away, I watched you as you copied my actions, smiling as you did so. We both crushed the cans and threw it off the hill like I had done previously with the vodka.

It made me smile the way you giggled as you threw it. It made me smile the way the rain dampened your hair. It made me smile when you smiled, and I didn't even know you, and I didn't even know your name.

We finished pouring and disposing of the cans, I then handed you one of the last two bottles of alcohol. You tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear and smiled up at me. Your teeth were a perfect shade of white. "Can I ask why I found you doing this?" You giggled. Your voice was beautiful, just like your appearance. How was it that you could survive this weather and still look like an angel?

I felt nervous about answering. I looked down at the bottle, rubbing my thumb along the label. "Because I don't want to be controlled" Yes, it was a dramatic statement, for something so pathetic, but from the look on your face you understood.

You bit your bottom lip as you looked down at the bottle you had in your hand. "My friends, they feel like they've lost me, like they don't know who I am anymore. And I agree with them, because I think I've lost myself."

You looked up at me; your eyes were masked with sadness. You gripped the neck of the bottle and threw it off the hill. I followed suit, looking down at you, compared to myself you were so small, so fragile, but inside I believed you were the stronger one.

We stood together for a while, just looking into the clouds. That's when I felt your hand interlock with mine. Your hands were ice cold, but seemed to warm my body with comfort. You lifted my hand towards your lips and kissed it. That was when you let go. That was when you picked up your backpack you'd discarded on the path. That was when you left. And I didn't even noticed you'd left you were that quiet. The only time I noticed was when I turned to you to ask you your name, but you'd disappeared, become one with the clouds.

I don't even know if you were real, the only evidence was the lipstick mark on the back of my hand, and it still may have just been my imagination, but what I do know is that I still think of you. I still think of you when I'm with my friends, when I walk by the seven hills of Sheffield, because deep down I know I may never see you again, but that's okay, and I think its better that way because we share that one special memory, the time you fixed me.