World on Fire | J. Saltzman - Legacies [4]

S I X

Stella sighs and buries her head in her hands as she looks between the now three people in the infirmary: Jed with his bump on the head, Ethan with his mild concussion, and mystery woman with the half-healed bite who won't wake up. She and Vanessa had been trying all day with the woman, but they have no real medics, so they've been reading.

Josie quietly gives the ok for Ethan. Stella can hear her speaking with MG but tries to ignore the deep well in her gut as she pushes up from her uncomfortable chair and reaches the woman's bedside, taking another look at her side.

The bite is gone now, no trace of any marks or trauma to the body. Yet, it does not feel right. The woman's skin continues to pale, sweat coating her brow, panting even in her deep sleep. If she won't wake soon, they'll have to go deeper, perhaps even look into her mind. Stella has had enough of that recently.

This is probably why she decided to text Hope not five minutes ago, explaining that she needed to talk with her. No specifics, just about the importance. She may be able to keep her Ragnarok secret from her cousin, but not the Landon one. Hope deserves to know.

"Hey."

Stella doesn't look up. "Hey. MG getting the Boswellia for the swelling?"

"Yeah." Josie stands behind her and it takes too much energy to meet her gaze. "Listen, uh, can we talk?"

Stella nods reluctantly and turns around so she leans against the bed, her arms crossed. "Yeah, I figured."

"You know I'm trying to be more open about communicating my feelings." Josie begins picking at her fingers, her head tilted downward. "And, uh, something's been off all day. Am I imagining it?"

"No." Stella sighs. "I thought I could distract myself with her," she motions over her shoulder, "but it just gave me more time to think, and I don't want to be thinking because that just brings me back to what I'm trying to avoid in the first place. You're not the only one who needs a distraction."

"Is it me?"

"No!" Stella shakes her head. Pushing off the bed, she takes Josie's hands. "No, you've done nothing wrong. It's me. It's always me."

Josie frowns. "It's not always you."

Pursing her lips, Stella meets Josie's eyes. "I know I can hide what I feel really easily," she says softly. "But I am really scared, Josie." Despite herself, her eyes begin to burn as her vision blurs for a moment. She tightens her grip on Josie's hands. "Really, really scared, and I don't want to be scared alone, but I'd never want you to feel this way."

"I'm scared too," Josie whispers, coming closer and cupping Stella's cheek. "I don't know how this is going to end."

"Exactly." Stella nods. "We don't know how this'll end, but we both know how our dreams end."

It is always death. She feels in between her ribs, in her spine, in her boiling blood every time the dreams end. It always finishes with death.

"And if we're going to die—"

"We won't."

"But if we do, the thought of going to Italy...It just..." Stella looks down even as she leans into Josie's hand. "I love you, but if this is my last break, I don't want to spend it with your mom, who is great, but she did try to kill my family. I want to spend it with my family just in case."

Sniffling, Josie nods and presses her forehead against Stella's. "I understand. I do. There's nothing wrong with that."

"But then I think about how I'm missing what little life we might have left." Stella's voice shakes. "And I'm so ashamed for not wanting to live it, especially when my next thought is always the Merge."