Serendipity

I like her, I like her so much. I don't want to make the same mistake again. Please for the love of God let me get rid of my feelings for her. She doesn't feel the same for me, I just want these feelings to disappear. She means so much to me that I can't let go, I know to myself that I really shouldn't stay.

If only you knew how much I liked you, you seem so perfect to me. I don't know why I like you so much, these feelings are confusing.

They make me dizzy and confused, I keep asking myself why I like her, but in the end it's just what my heart tells me.

I feel so euphoric when I'm around her. Her voice lights up my day and whenever I'm around her I can't contain my happiness. I would do anything to make her at least smile because of me, even if it means that I should isolate my undistinguished feelings.

I've come to the conclusion that I actually love her, they may ask me "You fell in love with someone on the internet?" My honest and most truthful answer to that is yes, I did fall in love with *****. Her voice makes my frown turn into a smile in a second. Even if she doesn't talk I enjoy just having her presence there.

Every time I talk to her it feels like hours just pass without even noticing it. We start calling at 3pm and as time passes I exclaim "Wow! It's already 11 am?!" We both didn't even notice a thing.

My heart races every time she says my name, I keep telling myself please say my name again. Everything would be better if I got to know her more, I messed up so much.

This wouldn't happen if I actually got to know her better, day by day I start getting to know her and I want to know more of her. She's so eye captivating, what is it that makes her so interesting to me?

I keep admiring her even if I've seen her flaws, I've been wanting her to tell me something that makes me lose feelings for her. At the end of the day, I still love her.

Why? My question is that I've seen a lot about her and I still like her, the good and the bad. I'm not her type though to be honest with you she's way out of my league, she feels like a butterfly that keeps flying when I'm trying to reach for it.

I keep trying to try to get away from her yet I keep coming back. I'm a person who can read people easily but for some reason I keep staring in her direction.

I'm hanging by a thread aren't I? She keeps showing interest, It's not like it's her fault tho. I'm the one who keeps hanging on to her. I've had so many relationships before but I've never felt like this.

Maybe If I keep waiting for her more things wouldn't end like this, Should I keep waiting for her and hoping there's still a chance? Should I let her go? My mind is all fuzzy, I'm in a state of singularity.

When me and her first met her voice made me feel enchanted, I would listen to her talk all day from day to night. Her voice was gentle but at the same time she was a cute airhead that made me chuckle and laugh with her.

I respect her boundaries, just call my name and I'll rush to her side without a doubt. Should I just keep watching you from afar? Or keep trying and maybe there'll be a chance, is what  I was thinking.

These confusing feelings make me feel ineffable. I often tell myself "Why do I love her?" and the final answer to that is...

- R