Madder than a Hatter (Descendants)

Rage Against The Machine Or Whatever (Edited)

I didn't reach the party in time.

But first, I have to cover something else.

The Enchanted Lake wasn't a really long trip from the cottage, but I was not used to running at a full sprint with a stomach full of cake. So after literally five minutes, I stopped by a tree, doubled over, and puked up a bunch of cake slush. It was very displeasing, considering my throat was now burning and I had really liked that cake.

I stayed hunched over, breathing heavily, feeling spit and acid drip out of my mouth. All the joy in my heart went out in an instant. I wiped off my mouth and straightened up slowly, a headache beginning in my temples.

This was very upsetting, and I already had enough to deal with. "This isn't fair," I said aloud. "This isn't fair. I'm running out of time and I need to get to the Enchanted Lake and this isn't fair!"

The last part was said with a shriek and a stomp of my foot.

A rabbit hole opened up in the ground in front of me.

Just like that, the ground fell in on itself and a hole opened up, perfect for me to jump into. In the deepest part of my subconscious, I knew that this would take me to the Enchanted Lake.

I jumped into the rabbit hole and thought of my dad again as I ran into the darkness, no longer feeling like I was going to throw up.

No matter how hard I tried, my life would always be nature versus nurture. My dad tried, he really did, but what did a hatmaker who drank mercury know about raising a child? It made it easier to act like him, because he knew how to handle himself. I didn't know how to handle myself, but I could be the best daughter he could possibly ask for.

And the daughter he seemingly asked for was one like him.

After years of cruddy education at Dragon Hall and acting however I wanted, I was suddenly stuck with all of these rules and guidelines and lessons and people telling me what I could and could not do. I couldn't really take it well and did what I could to cope.

Villain kids weren't engineered to be perfect rule-following do-gooders like the Auradon kids, they were engineered to be the next bad guys. Considering I had no other Wonderland kids to compare myself to, I didn't really know what we were supposed to do, but I guessed it was to take over their parents' positions when they couldn't do it anymore.

Being raised on the Isle meant I got both. I was a teenager, nineteen years old still being a teenager, and I had the weight of my dad's expectations and the Isle's expectations on my shoulders, along with all the other villain kids.

But Audrey had her grandmother's expectations forced upon her, along with having to put on the facade of the perfect princess, and even after all her hard work, it was all taken from her by Mal. Undoubtedly, she was in an unhappy relationship, but even an unhappy relationship deserves to have it ended with a conversation between both people.

No wonder she had lost it. I would've lost it, too.

There would be plenty of time to second-guess myself, to wonder what I was doing, to beat myself up about not making a plan and risking all the good things in my life to throw myself in Audrey's path.

At times like this, it was hard to believe that I deserved my place here in Auradon. Running through a dark tunnel with only my thoughts for company didn't help.

My spot should've gone to someone who needed it, someone who deserved a chance to live out their best life, not stay in a place that squandered their capabilities. Someone like Dizzy.

I could've lived a perfectly fine life without coming to Auradon. It would've been a lot more bleak, but I would've made it work, and I would've been able to be at least somewhat happy and fulfilled. Stuck in the captivity of the Isle forever, never knowing how good the Auradon kids had it.

There was no redemption for villain kids; we hadn't had the chance to do anything yet. We wasted away, dying slowly in this place, a prison built to contain and punish our parents.

That seemed to be a thing in Auradon- punishment by proxy. Oh, you saw someone pull the fire alarm but you didn't do anything about it? That's as bad as pulling the alarm yourself. You were near the fight, but didn't intervene or get a teacher? Then you're guilty as well.

Your parents were horrible villains who needed to be locked away forever? Have fun being stuck with them for all eternity and never being able to get out!

Welcome to the world of Auradon's politics, folks. Because he who ignores politics gets played by them, and I was not to be played by anyone. That was for cards, and for me to do.

Again, Audrey going bananas was seeming more and more understandable every second, which let me know I needed to stop thinking about it so critically and sympathize with her later. I would absolutely let her be dangerous for a few hours if that would get it out of her system.

Fortunately, before I could spiral any further, I reached the end of the rabbit hole. It was maybe a two-minute run at most, with the run being ten minutes at best if I hadn't taken the shortcut.

I climbed out of the hole to see Audrey facing away from me, at the top of a cliff that overlooked the Enchanted Lake, being clung onto by Chad Charming, henceforth referred to as the spineless loser.

"Sweet dreams," she said gleefully, and I noticed the pink mist curling around everything. Usually when I put two and two together it made five, but right now I was thinking it was a sleeping spell, since this was Maleficent's staff she was using, and that was kind of Maleficent's thing.

"Hi, Audrey," I said, and she spun around. The spineless loser nearly fell over the cliff in surprise, which would have been incredibly fun to watch, and I was a little sad that didn't happen. "I am loving the new look. You look happier."

She did look happier, but this was more of a drunk-off-power kind of happy than actually, genuinely happy.

"I am happy," Audrey confirmed, smiling beautifully. If she hadn't been such a jerk to my friends, I probably would have fallen in love with her instead of Lonnie.

Speaking of, I really missed Lonnie. I wished she was here with me.

"I'm finally going to have everything I deserve," she continued. "No one will be able to stop me. It's a dream come true."

"Oh, that sounds great. Tell me, did you- did you have a little song-and-dance number to start off your villain era? Let me guess what it was called. Queen something, probably. Probably rhymed, too. Let's see, what rhymes with 'queen'? Lean, bean, green, machine, fifteen, routine, submarine, mean- mean? Queen of Mean? Oh, that's actually pretty good. Are you the Queen of Mean now?"

"Why yes, I am. Excellent work, Madison. Gold star. You know, you're kind of amusing. When I take over Auradon, I think I'll make you the clown that you are. After all, any good court needs its jester, right?" Audrey's smile became saccharine sweet.

I put my hand over my heart. "I think that is the nicest thing you've ever said to me. If you get that far, I wholeheartedly accept your kind offer and will be the best jester you've ever seen. I just have one quick question."

"Is it about the pay?" the spineless loser asked. "Or the benefits?"

"Shut up," I told him. To Audrey, I said, "Nothing like that. Are you killing people or putting them to sleep? I know I'm a villain, but killing people is kind of a no-no in children's fiction."

She looked baffled, which reminded me that nobody else realized that none of this was real and it was a movie- well, actually, fanfiction of a movie. "Just a simple sleeping spell. You can't rule a kingdom with no citizens, after all."

"You are absolutely correct. Thank you for answering my question. I will let you get back to taking over the country."

I casually over to the spot she was standing, looking down at all the sleeping party guests, and felt sick to my stomach. Then I looked to the side, and lo and behold, saw Jane climbing out of the magic-remover lake.

There was hope for us yet.

Audrey's smile became dark. "Would you like to come with us, Maddie? See me in action? All the things I can do?"

Before I could really think about it, I said, "Yes."

Audrey gently placed her fingers on my arm, then slammed the scepter into the ground. Pink smoke swirled up around us. 

I closed my eyes.